Uranium, the Pro Bowl, Vuvuzelas and Swashbucklers…

Welcome to the Update on this glorious Wednesday morning, and many thanks for finding your way to it, and taking a break from Facebook stalking to do so…

Marie Curie was not just a pretty face. You may recall her and her husband worked to discover radiation through uranium decay. Their work set the basis for carbon dating which others would use to date fossils, and more importantly, the earth itself. Curie would go on to be the only person two win Nobel Prizes in two sciences, physics and chemistry, before eventually playing the ultimate price for her efforts. She died of leukemia in 1934. Her household items are so radioactive that they are in lead boxes; her lab books are so drenched with radioactive particles from isotope studies that those hoping to review Curie’s notes must don special suites and do so in a lead room. That is A for effort…

One Glowing Polish Mama: Marie Curie

Cancer has, for many reasons, been thought of as a contemporary illness. Researchers are now finding that, while exponentially more prevalent today than in centuries past, cancer is a disease which has been a part of the human race since as long as we have lived. Studies show that cancer was a rarity in antiquity, found in only some 200 documented remains on major excavation sites. Obviously, of the millions of homo sapiens who have roamed the globe, this represents a tiny fraction of those who may have lived with or died from cancer. But many now believe that issues like pollution, tobacco use and the more frequent and consistent ingestion of chemicals after the Industrial Revolution are major contributors to the wide spread presence of cancer in modern society. Other factors in cancer’s spread are obesity, sexual and reproductive practices and how and what we eat. Some scientist think the rarity of the disease is also attributable to the prevalence of others; diseases like fevers and poxes probably struck down thousands before they began having cancer related symptoms. More research can determine just how rare cancer, and indeed, many other diseases and ways of life were in ancient history. But much of this is lost in the past. For example, the estimated number of people to have lived and died before the year 1 AD is a billion, and roughly 2 billion by 1750. The scientists of mankind have documented and examined roughly 100,000 corpses. So we have information on less than one ten thousandth of one percent of all the lives ever lived. We have very much to learn…

As 2010 comes to a close, the Bohunk looks at a few words that joined the English lexicon, including just important fixtures Vuvuzela (the World Cup noisemaker), the Justin Beiber (the goofy hair cut named after the underage singer) and a plethora of terms heretofore known only to fossilized fuel enthusiasts, top-kill, bottom-kill, static kill all in reference to the Gulf Oil Spill this past summer. The Bohunk’s personal favorite was mama grizzly, one of the many Palinisms to break out in 2010. Mama grizzlies failed to elect in the Tea Bagging women they attempted to support, but all but one successfully bought and failed to read Oprah’s Book Club selections…Go Soccer Moms!

Fig 2. A true Mother Grizzly protects her young…and votes straight Democrat…

If you read regularly (Hey Cara) you know that the Bohunk loves pirates. I have quietly been rooting for the Somali “barefooted buccaneers” (as they are called in The Times) ever since my freshman year of college when Professor Howe, my World Geography guru, championed their cause. Also, I enjoy any opportunity to utilize the word swashbuckling on all occasions that present themselves. This past week, the pirates claimed $5.5 million in ransoms paid by a German chemical company. Just the next day, the pirates took another European vessel and its 8 man crew as hostage. The pirates are being hounded by the navies of several nations, including the US, to no avail. At the moment, experts claim that pirates hold over 26 vessels and six hundred and nine (609, presented in two forms to emphasize the number)  while being pursued by an armada of over 40 warships representing 30 countries. The pirates are almost all fishermen driven from their waters because the Chinese ignored international law and emptied the fish from the rich banks of fish off the Somali coast. Keep that in mind…These guys have a serious chip on their shoulders, and rightly so…

In Tuesday Night Football, the fifth night of professional football this past week, the Minnesota Brett Favre’s won while being Brett Favre-less. Rookie Joe Webb played like a seasoned vet, though not like a 40-something washed up joke. It is all about balance. The Eagles never really got rolling, with Mike Vick being sacked six times and fumbling twice, on one occasion resulting in a touchdown. This same game, if you’d told me they were playing, would have been a possible NFC Championship preview; it turned out differently. The Vikes will not be in the post season and the Eagles are  going to be a three or four seed behind the Bears and Falcons. Things often turn out differently; if you’d told me a year ago that Leslie Frazier and Joe Webb would be the faces for the Vikings and not the fired Brad Childress or inactive (and aged) Brett Favre, I would have been incredulous to say the least. But that is, in fact, how the cookie crumbles…

One NFL start and Joe Webb is already
sending dirty texts to this woman….

The Bohunk will leave it to your own interest to see who made the NFL Pro Bowl, though I will take a moment to point out an obvious snub. The Packers’ Aaron Rodgers didn’t make it, falling behind Drew Brees, Matt Ryan and Mike Vick. All are deserving, admittedly, but Rodgers is the most important player on his team besides, as some might note, Ryan Grant, whose loss at the beginning of the year has essentially halted the running game in Green Bay. With almost no threat on the ground (if you couldn’t name their running back, Brandon Jackson, don’t worry, few can) Rodgers still passed for 3,693 yards at an efficient 65.5% completion percentage. His rating is over 100 (101.9) and he has tossed 27 TDs to just 10 INTs. Perhaps only Drew Brees understands Rodgers’ plight; Brees lost Reggie Bush and Pierre Thomas to extended injuries and soldiered through it. Vick has LeSean McCoy, one of the best backs in the league already, and Matt Ryan hands the ball off to Michael Turner…frequently. Ryan averages five less attempts per game than Rodgers, but frequently throws only around 20 times. Only because of Rodgers’ missed game due to concussion do their attempts look similar, and Rodgers still threw more yards and touchdowns with a better completion percentage and passer rating. All that said, in the Pro Bowl, go NFC…

Thanks for reading, enjoy the bowl games this evening and remember to brush your tongue, no one enjoys halitosis.

Assange, the Queen of Soul, and China’s ‘Crackdown’ on AIDS Support Groups…

What a day, what a day. The past 24 hours have been very eventful around the globe and YOU need to be Updated about these events. Come along, on a fantastic voyage…

Those hackers that paralyzed MasterCard’s website yesterday were joined by scores of other middle-aged men in their campaign in support of WikiLeaks. Shortly after I pressed “Publish” yesterday, credit giant Visa was attacked, crippling its website as well. Amazon.com, PayPal and the Swedish government’s site have all been assaulted as well. The coordination and expertise of these attacks show that some of the best hackers in the biz are well at it in the defense of WikiLeaks and its now imprisoned founder (and James Bond-villain-looking personality) Julian Assange. Assange was arrested on sexual misconduct charges last week, though his lawyers presented copious proofs of his innocence. He will likely be forced to face espionage charges in the US, who are obviously involved in his arrest. The two women supposedly molested by Assange have refused to be involved in the case against him, and he is going to be held as long as authorities see it as beneficial. The attacks will continue as well.

Julian Assange: The perfect Bond villain. Even has a backstory ready!

You might recall that the world had some qualms about going to China for the Olympics a few years back. The country is one of the worst human rights violators on the planet, imprisoners more reporters than any other nation, and has been responsible for more ‘disappearances’ than any country since Stalin. Now, they are doing it in an even more pointed fashion. Hundreds of Chinese citizens associated with imprisoned writer and activist Liu Xiaobo have been taken into government custody, jailed, put under house arrest or followed. It is all a part of the effort by the Chinese government to make sure that no one goes to Oslo, Norway to accept Liu Xiabo’s recently won Nobel Peace Prize. The writer is still in a Chinese prison, and his wife has been under house arrest since Xiaobo won the prize. She is not allowed to speak with anyone from the international community (she was not even allowed to decline an invitation) and makes no contact outside of her immediate family. Xiaobo’s two brothers are under the same orders, and have been tailed by security forces day and night. As reported in the New York Times, this Friday will mark the first time since Nazi Germany forbade Carl von Ossietzky from accepting the award that no person will be at the ceremony to represent its recipient.  Only one friend of Xiaobo’s has a chance to attend the ceremony; Wan Yanhai, an activist, has been in the US from some months after fleeing Chinese police for his founding of an AIDS support group. Yes, AIDS support groups are illegal in China. If he goes to Oslo, Chinese officials will refuse his return to China.

In the ongoing look at cancer, the great Aretha Franklin is in the fight for her life. Family members announced that the great soul singer is battling pancreatic cancer, canceling all her public appearances and undergoing surgery Monday. Reports are that the surgery was successful, though that does not ensure health. Pancreatic cancer patients typically receive a 6% chance of surviving 5 years. There have been a number of prayer vigils in Detroit, where “The Queen of Soul” is still in hospital. With any luck, this is just a link in the chain-chain-chain of her incredible life. All the best, Aretha.

One classy lady, a legend, and, in her day, a Fox.

In mid-week amateur football news, Urban Meyer has stepped down as head coach of the University of Florida football outfit. Meyer, 46, says he will pursue his interests off the field and spend more time with his family. Meyer pulled this same stunt last season, citing health reasons for stepping down only to return for spring practices. Meyer has won two National Championships during his tenure at Florida, and also, it should be noted, a ton of games and SEC titles. Will he stay gone? This time around, the Bohunk gets the feeling he will call it quits. Former Florida assistant Charlie Strong is the top candidate for the job, but there are many others who would toss their name in the ring. Meanwhile, Nebraska board members have given head coach Bo Pelini permission to talk with University of Miami, Florida officials about the job there. Pelini’s sideline conduct this season has been suspect; Miami’s conduct in all areas over the last two decades has been rough, too. Could be a fit….And a train wreck.

“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in
no other way.” Mark Twain

Finally, in the Cheap Gifts category, I highlight for your amusement the stunning work of Mark Twain’s Autobiography of Mark Twain, which is a volume of stories and accounts dictated by Twain from his death bed. A team of editors worked on the text, giving the dictation some background and undoing some prior editing that had smoothed over some of Twain’s more scalding criticisms. It is a book of stories, many stories, of the life and doings of one of the best American authors in our history. If you’d like to pick it up, go to Barnes and Noble.

Thanks for reading, join the Bohunk tomorrow for Foxy Friday and some week-in-review material.  As you know, Friday is always a best effort of mine. Enjoy today and a happy tomorrow.

Tooting, A Miracle Pill, Marijuana and Death Squads…

It is, as you know, very much against the Nature of the Bohunk to toot, if you will, mine very own horn. But, for the sake of an article, and for the deserved glory to reward unrivalled foresight, my I offer only this: Toot, Toot…

Yes, I toot because of my prediction yesterday that The Best Team In The NFL, the Patriots, would beat the Jets. And beat them they did. But I call you valuable attention to the manner in which they beat them. The Jets under Rex Ryan have a terrible habit of blitzing when they other teams are driving against them. Their reasoning is simple; the opposition is in a rhythm, we must knock them from it. And at times, this works. They got to Tom “Bieber” Brady a few times, notably with a sack early in the first quarter to force a punt. But the majority of the time, Biebs simple found the blitz and threw at it; if they blitz from the spot, it must be vacated. That “big” play to Danny Woodhead in the first quarter? A blitz, which left a defensive end chasing the Diminutive Danny down the field, the usual linebacker standing next to Brady. Good quarterbacks like being blitzed! And Tom Brady might just be the best…

“Hey buttwipe…Yeah you, Rex…Suck on this one!”
(Not an actual quote)

There is, you know, a miracle pill. Large pharmaceutical companies did not release it with fanfare, nor did trumpets sound to hail the coming of a medical miracle that could forever change how humans deal with cancer…Yes, there is a cancer pill available, clinically proven to stop or prevent up to 20% of cancer deaths. It is aspirin. A pill a day, for five years, lowers your chance of cancer by up to 20%, and that percent is an average that threw out cases in which the pill stopped or reversed cancer already present in patients. Aspirin was even responsible for preventing certain types of cancer, such as gastrointestinal, by over 50%. Aspirin is already well-proven to help cardiovascular disease and obviously certain types of pain, but this new research highlights yet another way the inexpensive drug can change your life. So, why have you never heard of this research, that is now a few years old? Because aspirin is cheap, and its manufacturers cannot make an embarrassing amount of money from its production. This should be a part of your vitamin regimen, especially if your family has a history of, frankly, any ailment.

You may recall that the Nobel Prize was awarded to imprisoned Chinese dissident Liu Xiabo, author of several explosive documents on government especially critical of the human rights violations of the Chinese government. Xiabo was thrown into the slammer in December 2009 to serve eleven years (so he’s still a decade from freedom, unless he is tunneling) in prison after the release of his “Charter 8”, a paper which called for the immediate end of China’s one-party system. The paper was signed online by thousands of citizens, including a handful of Communist officials. Now, however, scores of countries are declining invitations to the award ceremony. The Norwegian Nobel Committee is becoming well known as a political advocate, especially after awarding US President the Peace Prize for his “intended” efforts in pursuing peace in the Middle East. The  Committee has often awarded it Literature Prize to activists, though very often for groundbreaking works, oftentimes decades after their completion and release. Some of the nations now refusing to attend Xiabo’s award are Ukraine, Egypt, Pakistan, Iraq, Venezuela…Yeah, it’s pretty much a list of theocracies and dictatorships that obviously have the same strict laws as China. For this reason alone, I say, “Go Xiabo!”…(however you say that name)….

Protestors march for Xiabo’s release…But are careful not to show their faces as to avoid the Chinese death squads.

Yesterday, the City of Wyoming, in Michigan, announced a city-wide ban of medical marijuana, citing the lack of resources to prevent the illicit sale of the drug even by card-carrying patients with every right to use it. Earlier this year, a appellate judge said that the law to allow medical marijuana, was badly worded and urged state legislators to rewrite the law. Cities like Wyoming are finding it impossible to regulate marijuana trafficking when dispensaries are not forced by law to document who they sell to, or even if the person was registered. Patients with a card can also grow a small amount of marijuana in their home, and can obviously traffic it in their own home. Many police officials have been called to homes suspected of drug sales, only to stumble upon a legal grower smoking with four or five others who paid to smoke with them. The answer is to mandate more regulations to track who is growing, selling and buying. Otherwise, its basically just like a Detroit public school; everybody has drugs.

In alternative energy news, Gov. Granholm announced the seductive luring of Northern Power Systems, based in Vermont, to build a wind turbine factory in Saginaw. The plant will help automotive factories a chance to diversify and perhaps even open more factories. This is the type of direction Granholm always promised but never delivered until she was, as now, the lamest of ducks.

As announced last week, its that time of year when red kettles pop up in front of stores to raise money for the Salvation Army. Not the US Army, the Army, if read reverse, of Salvation, usually a pretty positive military action, albeit a rare one. So far, donations are 15% down from last year, and Giant Stores, Inc., has warned that it will not tolerate “loud bell ringing” at its locations. The kettles can, for now, stay, but with little to no bell ringing. First off, poor form Giant Stores. It’s a damn charity. Let them ring as loudly as the volunteer’s elderly wrists may allow. Last year, the Salvation Army raised over $667,000 in front of Giant Stores. Second, Giant Stores now has reduced the Salvation Army from being in front of its stores two one week in November and one week in December. In it’s first week, Salvation Army raised just $68,000, and even with a tripled result in its second week, will raise less than a quarter of last year’s total. Boycott Giant Stores, please.

 

Thanks for reading folks, enjoy 25 Days of Christmas on ABC Family…And let me know if Rudolph is on. Back tomorrow, as usual…

Whorrior of the Week, Sartre and Dusty Baker...

The #1 Oregon Ducks ended the streak of top teams falling by scoring many, many points more than UCLA could muster. 60-12 is no close game, and as BCS officials mull the inclusion of figure skating judges to assess "style points", big victories over conference opponents sparkle like a bedazzled unitard.

Brett Favre refused to comment on his meeting with NFL representatives about accusations about his inappropriate text messages with former Jets employee (and total babe)Jenn Sterger. He was asked three times about the meeting by reporters and what was discussed, to which he replied "These things will play out." Hasn't he learned anything from Alberto Contador? Deny, deny and deny. Blame someone or something else. Say that it was somebody else's tainted man meat in the photos. Say someone stole your phone. At least he is trying to let the story die down...This is better than saying he did do it, then he didn't do it, then he wasn't sure if he did it, until Ryan Longwell and some teammates fly to his locker tell him to shut up.

In Haiti, over 138 people are dead after an outbreak of cholera. The country, which is still reeling from a massive earthquake, decades of poverty and political strife, has taken steps to combat the disease from spreading. Will this garner any attention in the U.S? Probably not, as news channels have mid term elections to cover. Christine O'Donnell: Witch or No Witch will take up four or five hours of coverage in the U.S., but 138 dead will only be covered on the ticker. How quickly we lose interest.

In naval news, a U.K. nuclear class sub ran aground off of Scotland. The captain was quoted as saying, "Son of a bitch, I've scuffed the hull." While the Royal Navy points out the sub was not armed with any nuclear warheads, the potential disaster just off the coast would still be a public relations nightmare should any contamination have taken place due to a breached hull. This is what happens when the British learn naval tactics by watching repeats of the A&E hit series, "Horatio Hornblower".

Did you notice all that baseball still being played? It's the playoffs! The Yankees and Phillies, heavy favorites heading into the postseason, are both trying to come back from early series deficits to the Rangers and the Giants, respectively. Somewhere, Darth Vader is not pleased, as the Yankees struggle and the Evil Empire looks vulnerable. The Giants, in the NLCS, have squeezed out hits against the vaunted starters of the Phils, making Halladay and Hamels look frustrated and uncharacterstically out of sync. The Bohunks call? Giants in 7 and Rangers in 6...and you can take that to Subway.

On this day in 1964, Jean-Paul Sartre won the Nobel Prize for literature, only to decline the award, which was the most French thing he could think to do. Sartre, who popularized existentialism, did not explain his reasoning with the public, though many French citizens were outraged that he would not accept the honor. Sartre was supporter of Communism, a student of other French masters such as Baudelaire, and an excellent writer of both philisophial works and literature. The existentialism movement, which subscribed to the idea that man had to create meaning for his life because existence does not have some innate meaning itself, was a popular topic of philosophy for decades and still is the most famous theory of being from Europe still discussed by intellectuals.

Somewhere, Dusty Baker just woke up and realized the Reds were out of the playoffs...He stood, wiped the drool from his chin, and walked alone from the dugout, his heavy footsteps echoing forlornly in the emptied stadium.

It's Thursday, and that means its time for the Whorrior of the Week. This morning, we honor the skanky, tirelessly self-demeaning antics of Short-Skirt Peacoat. Yes, this blonde with particles of vomit and bottlecaps in her hair strode with the aching strides of the repeatedly pounded skank-tastic champion her father wishes she was not. In the frosty morning darkness, the wind whipped her peacoat open to reveal a long t-shirt stained with God-knows-whose wasted seed. You, Short-Skirt, deserve fully the title of Whorrior of the Week.

Thanks for a great week, tell your friends to read again on Monday. Enjoy "Pirates of the Carribean" tonight on ABC Family...