Here is a quick video preview of the 35 mile course at Barry-Roubaix in Middleville, Michigan. March 26th, 2011 will mark the first race of the season for the Bohunk, the beginning of a ninth month expedition around the state, seeking cycling glory and free stuff.
Thanks to Rick Plite, the race promoter and the other guy in the video.
The weather cooperated to a small degree today to allow for a rare jaunt into the “mountains” of Northern Michigan. The temperature was a balmy 35 degrees in town with an 8 mph wind from the south. The roads were mostly clear around town but near the tops of some of the climbs were spotted with piles of snow with no pavement exposed, meaning a precarious slip through on skinny tires. I did my normal climbing route except for one climb, which ended up being 5 climbs over 300 feet each. The legs are weak, but the lungs were better than I expected and my times on the climbs were not terrible considering my limited training. In Allendale, it would take all day to climb 400 feet, while the very first Col of the day on this ride was over 400 alone. The descents were a bit more dangerous and I took them with some degree of caution, tapping the brake occasionally and checking the shadows mud puddles for ice.
Thomas de Gendt wins on Stage One of Paris-Nice, donning the
Yellow Jersey for the second stage.
In the Paris-Nice, Greg Henderson of Team SKY won in a very close sprint in the second stage, edging out Robbie Hunter of RadioShack, Denis Galimzyanov of Katusha and a personal favorite of the Bohunk’s Heinrich Haussler (Garmim-Cervelo). The terrifying Peter Sagan of Liquigas-Cannondale) wound up fourth. The Bohunk is an excellent predictor of things, though admittedly better when Cheer-Babes are involved. For Paris-Nice, look out for Sagan for the overall. Remember that in a few days’ times…
In an effort to get ‘Murica to back out of the groceries and to get the US off the podium for fattest country in the world, the government released a new guideline of what we should and should not be eating. One in three American children are obese (not just overweight, obese) and well over half adults are committed porkers themselves. Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack said, “…this is a crisis we can no longer ignore.” One tip they offered was that consumers (that’s you and me) switched to low fat or, preferably, skim milk. The switch to skim milk from even 2% can result in consuming roughly 7 pounds of fat worth of calories less per year, or the equivalent to one fat roll in your midsection. The guideline also stressed that switching to water in the stead of soda or juice could help children’s blood sugar and weight. Also, the Bohunk recommends skipping that drunken double cheeseburger you long for after an evening of binge drinking. Saves you a ton of calories.
If this is you, reevaluate your dietary habits; and if this is literally a picture of you, I apologize.
While watching the Egg Salad vs. Native American game on Monday Night, I took my eyes, carelessly, from the screen for 5 minutes and 34 seconds. When these eyes returned, the Egg Salads were winning by 14 points (2 TDs) and were frolicking into the red zone a la Jerome Harrison just moments later. At that point, I said “Game Over” because I tend to like make such predictions when a team is up by 3 TDs. It’s safer that way. Mike Vick, who commentator Ron Jaworski called, (and I’m serious) “dazzling”, does look pretty darn good, especially juxtaposed with Donovan McNabb, he is godawful- what? The ‘Skins just gave him $78 million over 5 years? Seriously? I’d take the guy who was in prison a few years ago…
As a huge Beatles fan, I am happy and relieved to say that Apple will now carry the full catalog of The Greatest Band In The History Of Man, possible as soon as you read this post. The Beatles have consistently been slow to move to new media; they didn’t have any of their albums available on CD until 1987, almost 6 years after the CD became the more popular format. Almost 39 years after the Beatles broke up (Damn you, Yoko) they still were the third best selling group in the US last year, selling 3.3 million copies of various albums and collections. Some other bands, such as AC/DC, Kid Rock and the great Bob Seger have yet to allow Apple have access to their work for sale on iTunes.
The Bohunk has had a Beatles sticker on my car since I was 17.
Bohunk Hall of Famer and “hardass” (my words) Todd Wells is a two time US champ in addition to being a very cool, down-to-earth guy. For these reasons and more, I am hesitant to post this next clip. At the U.S. Grand Prix of Cyclocross in Fort Collins, Colorado, Hot Todd took a tough spill bunny-hopping a barrier. For those not familiar with the sport, most mortals (like this guy ‘me’) can barely human-hop over barriers; only the pros can pull off this move consistently. This was the only race in Todd’s career that he did not finish, and the Bohunk wishes that it remains just that.
In Michigan politics, Rick “The Nerd” Snyder is changing the way Lansing does business. The former Gateway boss (before the jobs went to China) is doing away with allowing lobbyists to linger around the capital, influencing and essentially buying bills and laws in the State. No, he is appointing them to his staff. This gets cuts down on interference, gives them easier access to state and gubernatorial assets and ensures their invitation to the parties and barbeques. Snyder appointed long-time lobbyist Dennis “I’ll buy Lansing” Muchmore (that really is his last name) as chief of staff yesterday. Muchmore hasn’t worked in a public office since being a Macomb county staffer in the 1970’s. Welcome to Lansing, Mr. Lobbyist!
There is nothing more magical than birth, especially when no one has seen it happen before. Beginning in 1979, astronomers found evidence of a massive explosion of a start believed to be 50 times the mass of our sun. The star, which is 50 million light years away, is thought to have gone super nova and begun to form a black hole-the strange, collapsing celestial entity and an infinite density. Never before have scientists been able to date the beginning of such a process and watch as the black hole develops, ages and, in a few million years, wither away. It is a huge step in understanding how rapidly the universe changes. As I might have said before; we don’t know everything, we know almost nothing. The universe, my friends, is the greatest mystery.
On a rare personal note, I would like to contribute a strange event, witnessed live by the Bohunk just yesterday. While riding my bike, I was passed by the unlikely of creatures. I was making my way (at 15-17 mph, mind you) up a gradual hill just off of Wilson Ave. near Grand Rapids. I saw to my right a large, spacious and immaculately green lawn, perfectly manicured and almost plaited, so picturesque was this landscape. I noted an Invisible Fence flag in the corner of the yard, but seeing no dog, was unconcerned. Out of nowhere, a cat (yes, it’s a cat story) came flying out of nowhere, chasing me along the Invisible Fence. I am not an animal expert, but I did not think a cat was capable of running 15 mph, and it also gave my eye brows a good raisin’ to be chased by a feline. It stopped, the magnificent orange tabby-bastard, just at the flag, so it had obviously done some probing. Anyway, the Bohunk would just like you to be aware of this threat to cyclists.
Thanks for reading, don’t worry, no cats stories next time, and the Bohunk apologizes for it. Enjoy anything but Glee, and read the Update tomorrow.
Another week, another string of Updates…Please, hold your thunderous applause until the bottom of the piece, your enthusiasm is appreciated, but probably misplaced, it ain’t ever that good on a Monday.
What a weekend of tackle football. Nebraska squeaked out a win over Iowa State, LSU knocked off Alabama and Michigan State had a surprising (to me) bounce back win over Minnesota. Illinois scored 65 points against Michigan…and lost. It was the most points ever given up by Michigan in a single contest, and they won by two. That is a pretty rare event in sport. The teams combined for more points that the final scores of the past one, two, three! meetings of the school’s basket-ball teams (Basket-ball is roughly 4% as interesting as football, so it gets about 4% of coverage on the Update).
In the BCS, Oregon, My Oregon are number one and are the least likely of the top 5 teams to lose this season. Auburn, at number two, faces a handful of tough SEC games before they would have to play in the SEC Championship game at the end of the regular season. TCU is 3rd after destroying the Utes on the road. The Smurfs of Boise State are 4th, but could be passed by an LSU team at 5 that plays a much tougher slate of games toward the end of the season, and a potential bump by winning the SEC Championship. Nebraska is stuck at the Not-So-Great 8 spot, getting jumped by Wisconsin and Stanford. Shame, robotic computation devices, for letting this happen. May your circuits overheat.
In professional tackle football, the Cleveland Burnt Siennas beat the heretofore best team in the NFL, at least wins-and-losses speaking. The Jets snuck by the Detroit Lions in OT after being, in my very biased opinion, outplayed for 56:23 minutes. The Jets put up 10 points in the last 2:36 of the fourth quarter to force extra time, with a huge help from Lions LB Julian Peterson for ungentleman-like behavior on the game-tying drive. Peterson pushed LaDanian Tomlinson as the running back was stepping spritely out of bounds, which is by every account illegal. 15 yards, a first down and a very easy field goal would ensue.
In Philadelphia, Colts’ wide receiver Austin Collie went “over the middle” in order to catch a ball thrown deftly by Peyton Manning. This “over the middle” is constantly referred to and mentioned by Talking Ends and players, inferring that in this murky place of danger and adventure, where violent hits are more likely because receivers are defenseless and surrounded on all sounds by defenders. On this occasion, Collie caught the ball between three Eagles, placed a step or two on the ground and turned his upper body slightly to protect himself. The first Eagle hit him cleanly; a hard but legal hit. The second impact came from behind, helmet-to-helmet, with the crown of the Eagles helmet connecting to the rear of the Collie’s. Down went Collie, twitching and shaking, his arms frozen in the air in a sickening and alarming reaction to his brain being literally stirred about it his skull. A helmet-to-helmet hit; out came the flag. And the fans booed; the Eagles’ Kurt Coleman, who delievered the blow, gyrated and screamed in protest while another human being lay potentially paralyzed on the ground at his feet. While Collie was still being placed on a stretcher, unmoving, Eagles fans booed replays that clearly showed a helmet-to-helmet hit and a fellow man, with a family and friends and a life off the field, twitch unconscious at the end of the replay each time. The CBS commentator, Phil Simms, reviewed the play several times, forgetting that it showed a human being injured and focusing soley on whether it was a catch. Simms, Philadelphia and Kurt Coleman, you are all guilty of the single most disgusting act in sports this season…so far.
In Brett Favre news, the “Ol’ Gunslinger” threw for a career high 446 yards to beat the Arizona Cardinals in a game which proved the Vikings are capable of beating the fifth worst team in the league. The Vikings are 3-1 at home and winless on the road this season which is a good stat for the struggling Hyperboreans to hear. They play the Packer and Bears at home after playing at Chicago and getting the Bills and Giants at home as well. They go on the road only four more times, including a trip to Philly and Detroit to end the regular season. Kindly remove the fork from the Vikings…they are not entirely done yet. If they win their next two games, at Chicago and at home to the Cheese Craniums, they could be battling for the division, not just the wild card.
Last night, those very Cheese Craniums embarrassed the Dallas Cowpokes, so much so that Wade Phillips’ perpetual expression of “What the hell is going on?” actual gave way in the third to a pitiable look of, “I wish I still had no idea what was going on, this is terrible.” Seriously, that is what his face said. The ‘Boys (not men, “nothing but cowBOYS, just like the word says,” John Wayne) are now 1-7, tied for the second worst record in paid-football and no hope in sight. Owner Jerry Jones can’t fire Phillips because the potential replacement wouldn’t get to work with players till June, should the NFLPA and owners fail to reach an agreement over winter and spring negotiations.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner: Brian Matter on his
way to victory.
In cycling news, the 2010 Iceman Cometh is in the books, with former winner Brian Matter claiming the men’s title over a field of high-quality professional pedal-turners. Matter jumped away with roughly four miles to go, and the leading pack, containing Todd Wells, Jeremy Horgan-Kobelski, Jerimiah Bishop and Sam Schultz, did not chase him down. Watch a video, taken from a camera taped to Bishop’s fork, of the action here. Over 4,000 cyclists braved freezing temps and mud-soaked trails to complete the 28 mile race, some so tired at the end that fans (myself including) pushed them up the final climb.
Todd Wells, Sam Schultz and Jeremiah Bishop
scramble to the top of the last climb. Todd Wells held
on for second
On Sunday, Myanmar held its first elections in 20 years, though the outcome is already known at many voters forced by the military rulers to vote. A potential boycott, proposed by activists who oppose the nation’s militant government, was decreed to be punishable by the government and voters were prodded out, in some cases by police, to the polling stations. President Obama termed the elections “anything but free and fair” while the country’s League for Democracy voiced its desire any outcome because the results will be chosen the the military anyway. Myanmar also currently holds roughly 2,100 political prisoners at this time.
Thanks for reading, enjoy the Steelers vs. Bungles this evening on Monday Night Football. A better update tomorrow, I promise.
