Saudi Arabia Bans Demonstrations

The US loves freedom, just as long as everybody stays nicely in
line, especially in oil producing nations.

After two weeks of demonstrations and protests, Saudi Arabia has officially banned protests in its country. And public protest will not be dealt with by police and military forces according to a statement released by the nation. After revolutions in Egypt, Tunisia and Libya, the Saudis are pushing to avoid the freedom bandwagon trooping through the Arab world. The country’s clerics announced that all protests are forbidden, saying “The correct way in sharia law of realizing common interest is by advising, which is what the Prophet Muhammad established.” The law is grouped in with regulations already in place banning political parties which they also claim not to be in keeping with Islamic law. Over 17,000 people joined two demonstrations this month in Saudi Arabia, the largest taking place on Friday. Facing them are the nation’s clerics who have sweeping powers in the nation, including the ability to run their own private police squads to enforce religious laws and prosecute those deemed to have violated those laws. After the Gulf War in 1991, some clerics pushed to force King Abdullah to allow an elected Parliament, though nothing in that area has evolved in the past twenty years. After demonstrations, Abdullah recently pledged an extra $37 billion to the citizens of his country.

Foxy Friday, She-Priests, and a Harry Potter Thank-You…

The Bohunk would like to bring to your attention a huge event in the world of sports. This very Sunday afternoon, the Minnesota Brett Favres will host the Green Bay Packers, the last meeting of the aged superstar and his former squad. This is based on the assumption that he will, in fact, retire at the end of this season and then remain so forever. After tossing a league high 16 INTs and winning just three games thus far, the Bohunk does not foresee a return of the “Ol’ Gunslinger” in 2011. This will be Brett’s last chance to seek revenge on the Pack for not taking him back after unretiring the first (and really second) time. The NFL has recently met with Jenn Sterger about the potential sexual harassment issues dating back from 2008. Brett is going to be starting this Sunday, but between a potential suspension, a bad elbow, ankle and shoulder, his streak of consecutive starts is in jeopardy. This may be his last chance to stride off into the sunset, then pussy-foot around till August before finally going away for good.

It’s Friday, which means the Bohunk will select the Fox. This week’s Fox is the beautiful and talented Natalie Portman. As Padme in Star Wars I-III she stole the hearts of many a virginal nerd, and has been very successful in other roles, from V for Vendetta to Cold Mountain and Brothers. You may not know it, but Natalie is Israeli, and made her acting debut in Leon way, way back in 1994. She holds a degree in psychology from Harvard (Pip, pip) and won a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress for the film Closer (a personal favorite of Yours Truly). Now, she can list a “Fox” award to her list of credentials.

Fox Natalie Portman…

In astronomy news, scientists have discovered the first planet ever seen that originated in another galaxy. The planet is orbiting a white dwarf star that is a remnant of a mini galaxy that was devoured by the Milky Way a few million years ago. The planet is slightly larger than Jupiter. Scientists are getting all antsy and excited, because research of this planet might reveal some secrets of other-galaxy formation and a glimpse into the effects on a planet after a sun’s mass change. The earth, in a few million years, will face a sun a few dozen times larger than it currently is, possible scorching the planet or even erasing it. This new, foreign planet gives us a look at what might be left. Bohunk’s guess; not much.

The new Myspace is here…by becoming Facebook. The former social networking giant and now irrelevant, embarrassing and lingering reminder of your sophomore year in high school, has struck a deal to be linked with Facebook. Now, Myspace will be integrated almost completely with its former rival Facebook, allowing your preferences from one to be transferred to the other and vice versa. The Bohunk’s criticism is echoed by other tech-nerds; what is the point? Why have two identical pages that share the same information? Myspace has, currently, 122 million registered users, compared to Facebook’s 500 million. If you still have a Myspace, slap yourself. (Just kidding)

None of these Kiwi are believed to be in the mine….

A massive explosion has trapped two dozen coal miners in New Zealand. Following the trendy example of the Chilean Miners, the Kiwis are trapped at an unknown depth in the intricate labyrinth, buried at least a mile below the surface. A man driving a loader some distance from the blast was thrown from the piece of equipment, a shocking indication of the strength of the explosion. Fears that the mine’s ventilation system was damaged forces rescuers to begin searching for fast and potentially more dangerous avenues of escape for the men trapped.

50 Church of England priests have voiced the intention to join 5 bishops in Britain who have converted to Roman Catholicism, this coming roughly 400 years after the Anglican Church was formed as a separate entity outside the power of Rome (thanks, Henry VIII). The priests say that cannot in good judgment serve as holy men in the Church if female bishops are accepted as a part of doctrine, a motion quickly gaining momentum in the country. The Pope has created a special club for the converts (or defectors, depending on your view) giving them the same powers as Catholic priests, and allowing married Anglican priests to keep their wives, which is just darn nice of the Holy Father. The Church of England has been confirming female priests since 1994, and have used “flying priests” (not Bohunks) to serve congregations that did not want a female leading their flock. Your views on this are of great interest; leave a comment with our opinion.

Oh my, how they grow…Three lives spent on camera.

The Harry Potter films are nearly concluded. It’s been 9 years and the movies have made billions in profit while delighting more than a few generations. If you have read the books, you know the sort of mixed feeling that comes with any final installment. Upon finishing the last book, many wished for more, but also, were satisfied with the feeling of completion and closure. Readers felt as though they had seen their closest friends finally find peace. Even the very best things must end, and all the better if they end as they should. These movies WILL be the last new Harry Potter related works. Ever. There will not be another book, nor film. What we have now is all the world will ever get from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (if you are tearing up, if that heavy feeling has found your breast, your heart, know it has found mine, doubly so, in writing this) and we can only treasure what is. Thank you, JK Rowling, for all you have given this weary world.

Thanks for reading, enjoy your weekend safely. The Bohunk will be taking off the holidays next week, so there will only be a Monday and Tuesday Update, in addition to the Top Post redone tomorrow.

Foxy Fridays, Ted King, Comas and The Secret To Happiness…

Thank goodness, friends, for it is Friday! While I am assured you will miss the Update for the next two days, I have news to lift your sorrowful spirits. On Saturday, the post with the most page views will be put up for a second glorious running, giving everyone (and most importantly, YOU) a chance to check it out all over again.

Regular readers may have noticed the Bohunk’s deliberate and obvious lack of US political news recently. This was a decision based on the long, dirty and depressing campaign season and the subsequent Election Day hangover. I hope you have vomited that noxious sickness from your system, because there is big news. A noticeably greyed and haggard looking President Obama announced that his top priority is to extend a set of tax cuts for the middle class, vowing to work with Republicans and Democrats on negotiations to find a middle ground on the issue. Obama went on to say that to permanently extend the tax cuts to wealthier Americans, those making $200,000 or more a year, would be a “mistake.”

Republicans argue that no Americans should face more taxes, especially in a bad economy; the Bohunk argues that they are not facing more taxes, just the amount they paid before Dubyah took office. Republicans argue that having more wealthy people creates jobs; the Bohunk argues that the majority of people making just around or slightly more than $200,000 have no impact on hiring more employees, only buying things at stores that typically pay minimum wage, like Target. Republicans argue, “Yes-uhn,”; the Bohunk argues, “Nu-uh.”

The Bohunk regrets to inform you of the end of the weekly installment of “Weekend Whorrior”. There have just not been enough walks-of-shame outside my apartment as of late. One theory is that the girls just don’t care enough to leave and salvage some self respect. However, I am happy to introduce the soon-to-be famous Foxy Fridays. Each Friday, feast yours eyes on a lucky lass who is just Foxy enough that she is honored in the Update for said foxiness. Feel free to submit your own candidates…

This week, we honor the eternal foxitude of Gemma Arteton. This Fox first gained recognition as Strawberry Fields in the James Bond film Quantum of Solace, before joining Jake Gyllenhaul in Prince of Persia. (Side note: How the very, very Caucasian Jake Gyllenhaul was cast to play a Persian prince with an english accent is beyond my theorization) She is married to a lucky Spanish gentleman named Stefano, and her bio states that she has a tattoo of an angel behind her left ear. Thank you, m’Lady Arterton, for being such a classy, foxy woman.

Strawberry Fields…Forever. What a classy lady, and very British, too.

Cindy McCain, handsome-looking wife of Arizona Senator and Presidential candidate runner-up John McCain, has recently lent her voice to the NOH8 campaign working to stop bullying and abuse of the gay community. Cindy’s hubby, the cheery old chap, recently led the Republican-led fillibuster of a bill that would repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Senator McCain’s campaign also was very strongly against gay marriage. Cindy is featured in a commercial, that will air  as a part of the campaign, criticizing the government (and, as a result, her husband) for telling members of the LGBT community they are “second-class citizens”. If you think your marriage or partnership can be tense, imagine that dinner table….
         ”Pass the peas, you back-stabbing, gay-hugging trollop!”
         “Why certainly, you hateful, bigoted, wrinkly bastard!”

In the Bohunk’s never-ending attempt to find true happiness, I offer this advice; focus. Resent research has found that a wandering mind leads to sadness. Scientists found that we spend roughly 47% of our time thinking of something unrelated to what we are actually doing. Those who participated in the study said they were most happy while doing physical activities, the most popular being “doing the hippity-dippity.” Other activities, such as running or exercising, triggered the best moods, most likely because they require more focus. Activities that allow the mind to wander, such as working or using a computer, created the saddest moods. So finish reading this blog, email it to a friend, and then go jog. Focus may be the key to happiness; be satisfied and enthusiastic about whatever it is you are doing.

Ariel Sharon, the very Jewish former prime minister of Israel and the face of the Palestinian conflict for more than a decade, has been taken to his home to receive further care and to remain under observation after spending the last five years in a hospital. Sharon has been in a coma for those years after suffering a stroke in January of 2006. He has shown no improvement in years, though now reportedly responds with hand movements to conversation and television. Sharon led the successful repulsion of Egyptian forces in 1973 and later served as Israel’s defense minister before taking the nation’s top job. Sharon is now 72. 

Ted King. He claims to rock the party that rocks the
pinata; and does.

How often does your hero contact you? Well, mine did. Not once, but thrice! in a single day. Ted King, a professional cyclists and One Cool Guy asked me what most people are thinking, “What on earth are you talking about?” The super cool cat read the Update, gave it the raving review of “interesting” and, thusly, made my week. Ted is now a member of the Liquigas-Cannondale squad after spending 2009-2010 with the now defunct Cervelo TestTeam. (Another side note Mr. “The” King regularly updates a blog, which you can access here AFTER you finish mine, and is also a fantastic chef. He also is a big supporter of the Krempels Center, which is dedicated to improving the lives of people with brain injury or damage from strokes. You can buy shirts or frame stickers with the obvious, yet important, distinction that you are not Ted King at Cutaway Clothing. Proceeds go to research at the Krempels Center. Thanks for the read, Ted, and have a great off season!

And thank you, readers, for your time. I hope you enjoyed this week’s slew of Updates. Off for the weekend, and back on Monday with much better stuff. Hopefully. Enjoy Ohio State vs. Penn State tomorrow, and the New England Flying Elvii (look at the logo) vs the Pittsburgh Thieves Sunday night.