We finally won the big one….
To Note: Fox of the Week and Classy Lady Natalie Portman won an Oscar last night. I would like to that the six people who texted me during the show, and the three emails I received this morning. I want to thank the fans, the press and the media and all the people that voted. I knew Natalie and I would win this one at some point and when we deserved it.
It’s Tuesday and the Bohunk is struggling to return to the monotony that is college. And the headlines are as depressing as the twelve page research paper on Catholic and Protestant relations during the various witch trials of the sixteenth century. Yet, the Bohunk perseveres through all calamity…
In business news, Apple’s Messiah Steve Jobs (who doubles as a CEO) is taking a leave of absence from the company and day-to-day operations. Shares for Apple dropped 4.7% overnight, representing roughly $15 billion in market value. Jobs took a leave for medical reasons in early 2009 to receive a liver transplant and in 2004 to deal with and combat pancreatic cancer. Experts say there is no material reason to say that Jobs’ absence will in any way affect Apple as a corporation, but agree that, as the face of one of the richest and most successful companies in the world, is presence is very valuable as well. Just last week, if loyal readers will recall, Apple hit its highest ever trading price at almost $350 per share. Even at a loss of 4.4%, long term investors are okay; the company’s share quadrupled from 2009 to the present. They should be doing okay financially. All the best to Steve on his leave and the best of health, as well.
“Go purchase some Apple stock; I ain’t dead yet m@(#%*#.” ~Steve Jobs
For a week or so after the shooting of Rep. Giffords, the Republicans kept their collective mouth close; they appeared at the sight of the shootings, and stood behind the President (to stay in camera frame) when Obama made his speech on the violence in Tucson. They promised bipartisanship, and peace, and for the rhetoric to stop…Until today. Apparently, the Republican pledge to deal peacefully with Democrats lasts shorter than the media cycle. Republicans are back at it, challenging health care law that would, even in its barest forms, cover an addition 15 million poverty-stricken Americans. But Lord knows we wouldn’t want that. The Oily-Phants are now making recommendations on the plan that would reduce the number of Americans covered to less than 7 million by some measures, lowering the cost, sure, but completely missing the point of the bill in the first place. The health care bill was drawn as a way to cover all Americans, not a just enough to get some press and disappoint millions who did not end up with coverage. The need for discussion is not lost on the Bohunk; only the motivation for Republicans to deny 15 million of the most needy and vulnerable fellow citizens in the country the right to see a doctor and to receive treatment. If you can explain it to me, please do so in the Comments section…Peacefully….
A suicide bomber in Iraq killed 52 police recruits in Tikrit yesterday. As US and other international forces prepare to leave en masse this year, the myriad short comings of the Iraqi security forces are being found out. Recruits were waiting in line to the police station when the explosion rocked the building and all those around it. 52 died and over 150 are being treated for several types of injuries. This comes just a few months after a similar attack at a police recruitment center killed 61 and left over 125 wounded. When Iraqi security forces cannot even protect themselves while in their own bases and within their own compounds, the US must worry that all the work and sacrifice contributed could evaporate rather quickly….
Sarah Palin, that ever-ignorant Mama Grizzly, has vowed not to “shut-up” in the light of civil, bipartisan talks that, heretofore had been thriving. She quoted Scripture and Martin Luther King, Jr. while on a Fox News show, saying that Jesus and MLK were similar in their life experiences. She did not have the intelligence to say how, but that they were. She remained non-committal on running for President in 2012, to which the Bohunk is disappointed. Go for it Sarrah-cuda! Obama on his worst day, and in French, could beat you in a debate. Please, chick, bring it on…For you are not a lady….
Stage One of the Santos Tour Down Under in Australia is in the books with HTC-Columbia’s Matt Goss taking the win. Goss nipped Andre Greipel and very Australian Robbie McEwan for the win on the line, with many eyes looking around at the notable absence of Mark Cavendish near the finish. McEwan suffered a crash a few kilometers before the finish and was pulled back into contention by the powerhouse that is the South African Robbie Hunter, another recent pick up by Team RadioShack. The second stage is today and roughly 100 miles long in beautiful weather and sunshine. More tomorrow, and the Bohunk warns, look for a move by Lance Armstrong; as he said last week, he is not in Australia to “pedal around in the peloton.”
Matty Goss takes in on the line…But where’s Cavendish?
Astronomers are tossed their telescopes to the turf and picking up a element in order to study the universe. The telescopes are, in reality, safe, but there has been a rush to study in greater depth the importance of carbon, not only on earth but its role in the universe as well. As one of relatively few chemically stable possible solutes, carbon has some of the basic traits that make it a viable source of life, namely, consistency and structural integrity regardless of environmental changes in temperature, pressure and levels of acidity. Though DNA is the foundation of life, its inner workings, or its chemical reactions and processes, are built upon the stability of carbolic acids at a micro-micro-microscopic level. While small scale biochemical reactions can result without carbon, they cannot build larger bodies, such as bacterium, cats, Natalie Portman, whales, or Rosie' O’Donnell (and yes, in that EXACT order) that we consider significant or substantial life. Carbon has a versatility that is unrivaled by other elemental compounds, even by those that are more popular. For example, silicon is roughly 900 times more abundant than carbon, but is involved in a paltry number of meaningful chemical reactions important to creating and maintaining life. The only other element that seems to have had any potential at the early stages of life on earth was boron, an element that is rare on earth, but even more rare throughout the universe. There is not enough known boron to have meaningful chemical reactions on any scale, let alone the scale of life. What does this mean? The universe somehow provided earth with exactly the right stuff at the exact right time with the exact chemical properties needed to being the process of life. It all had to happen and it all did. Why? For what reason? We don’t know everything, we know almost nothing. The universe, my friends, is the greatest mystery.
Thank goodness for carbon…
Thanks for reading folks, more effort tomorrow and, of course, much more fun. Enjoy your day!
It’s Hump Day, and the last one before The Redeemer of Mankind’s birthday. What better way to celebrate the Savior’s immaculate conception then subsequent vaginal delivery than by reading the Update? I can think of no other…
The redesigned and reconfigured START Treaty between the US and Russia will now be signed by Barack. The treaty hit some major snags last week because of Republicans (eager to do nothing before the end of session) dragged their feet and refused to vote on the measure, calling it ‘too rushed.’ The treaty has been under construction since its original draft in 2002, and this version has been under negotiations for almost two years. New stipulations that were agreed upon say that both countries will limit their stocks of warheads to 1550, down 30% from the amount agreed upon in 2002. Each nation is allowed only 800 nuclear capable subs, and only 700 of them can be armed at once. 700 nuclear warheads is enough to level every city from London to Moscow, frankly, and though the measure is a great effort, still allows for unspeakable damage. A major drawback that riled politicians for both nations was the lack of limitations or regulations on building missile shields, a major goal for the US. Obama said the treaty would not stop or limit in anyway the US’s plan to help build and fund a missile shield over Europe….
Obama loves to open negotiations by breaking out the ol’ coloring book….
Another shining Republican moment as the Elephants waver on the commitment to ensure free health care for the surviving responders, mainly New York Fire Department workers. Republicans, who certainly made the most of 9/11 (Afghanistan, Iraq, the Patriot Act, George W. Bush in a second term) are now voting against giving roughly 343 first responders health coverage. Due to the prolonged exposure (they were pulling out bodies, folks, come on) to toxic fumes and materials at Ground Zero, many of these responders are suffering with breathing, heart and cancer issues as a result. Democrats believed they have gathered enough support to pass the $6.2 benefits package, though Republicans are entrenched against it…Why? They claim it costs too much. A three trillion dollar war (Iraq) costs too much. Health care for these firefighters should be already covered by a national health care system. But that is, of course, a whole other Update entirely…
A bomb was found in outside of Rome yesterday in a busy train station. Italian security responded but found that, due to the bombs poor construction, it could not have been detonated. Let this be a chilling reminder of how routine terror is becoming…We now wave off bombs if they don’t explode…
WikiLeaks founder, and Bond-villain-to-be Julian Assange appeared on BBC’s Today program to be interviewed by John Humphrys. In the interview, Assange said he believed the sexual assault charges awaiting him in Sweden were baseless and obviously contrived to make him look like a villain (the white hair already does, Julian) while he is making an effort not to let the distraction of legal charges interfere with his WikiLeaks mission. Even international figures admit that the sexual assault charges were probably organized and set-up by the American CIA after WikiLeaks released thousands of cables some weeks ago. There is even irony in this amusing little aside; the charges of sexual assault against Assange were ‘leaked’ by top authorities in the Swedish police force days before enough evidence was gathered to merit an office warrant. The Bohunk can readily admit that Assange is, an all likelihood, a shady character, especially with women. He has claimed quite grandiose success with them, but this proclamation only makes the charges against him more understandable. But to have two women just-so-happen to file charges against Assange a few days after the cable leaks is a bit too convenient…
For NFL news, we turn to Washington, home of the Native Americans. They traded for Donovan McNabb, gave him a fat contract, then pulled him that very week because he was too chubby to run a two minute offense. At that point, the Bohunk was forced to declare, “Bullshit.” Head coach Mike Shanahan billed himself as a genius, though he was only a genius with John Elway back in Denver, and, lest ye forgot, Elway is going to be remembered as one of the greatest quarterbacks in history. Now, after losing games because of poor coaching and poor play, the scapegoat is Donovan McNabb. Was the Chunky Soup Eater playing Pro-Bowl football? No. But was anyone else playing well either? His team was bad, on both sides of the ball, and even on special teams. Shanahan was consistently outcoached (by Andy Reid, especially) and shifted blame to Albert Haynesworth and the new signing, McNabb. Soon, people will see that Shanahan is a mediocre coach with a sub-par team, and likely fire him accordingly.
Natalie Portman as the Black Swan…It ain’t Queen Amidala, but still pretty good…
If you are looking for a holiday movie, might I recommend Black Swan starring Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. Why, you ask, would the Bohunk, a throbbingly attractive manly-man, suggest I go see a movie about ballet? And I would answer you like this: It stars Natalie Portman as a crazy, whigged-out ballerina battling another startling attractive ballerina. It is a dark, psychotic look at how insane ballerinas really are. And, again, it stars Natalie Portman.
In the on-going piece on the evolution of Christmas (that was carefully selected, evolution of…) we come to another Roman holiday, the feast of Mithras, the god of light, which, not-so-coincidentally, fell on December 25th. The festival was based on the theme of renewing hope, and was celebrated by lighting candles and eating. Christians adopted this date as the birth of Christ in the 4th century, roughly 400 years after Jesus died and pointedly ignoring suggested dates of his birth that even now range from September to February. Christians selected a well-liked and well-entrenched holiday as the birth so that Gentiles would be more likely to accept the holiday as Christian if they could be converted to the new faith. But hey, if you can convince people that bread and wine is the body and blood of the Savior, and then get them to ingest said ‘blood and wine’, I think convincing them a certain day was the Messiah’s birthday shouldn’t be an issue.
It’s nearly Christmas, so your sleigh better be stacked high. Tie down the hatch of your Ford Fiesta and fit in, amongst your roasted chestnuts and Lady Gaga posters, a final gift. The Bohunk, a steady ready, has been tempted by The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson ever since it was a huge hit at the local movie house. It was a #1 National Bestseller and a phenomena in Europe, and Larsson’s native Sweden, in particular, long before it was even known in the US. Larsson died of a heart attack before his work became famous, adding even more mystery and intrigue to what is said be a thrilling mystery in the trilogy. Now, all three novels are available in paperback, meaning you can get all three (the others are The Girl Who Played With Fire and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest) for less than the cost of a single hardcover copy. You can pick them up here, or head in to your local bookseller.
Thanks for reading, get a book for someone you love this holiday season, and here’s to hoping you had an excellent pagan Winter Solstice this week. Back tomorrow, enjoy Modern Family at 9 tonight. (As always, that’s Eastern Standard)
