Julian Assange Loses Extradition Case

Give him an eye patch and this guy is James
Bond’s worst nightmare…

WikiLeaks founder and ready-made James Bond villain Julian Assange lost his extradition case in London. The Swedish government won their case to bring Assange back to Sweden to face charges of sexual assault against two women. Legal experts believe an appeal will be filed by Assange’s lawyers soon, dragging the case on for much longer, even moving up to the Supreme Court of the European Court of Human Rights. Assange must file his appeal within the next seven days and meet bail to go free. The bail has not been discussed or assessed in the courtroom thus far. A main part of the Assange case brought forth by lawyers is the “toxic atmosphere” in Swdedn where Assange is seen as the nation’s “public enemy number one”, so much that they do not believe Assange could ever have a fair trial in the country. WikiLeaks’ staff has yet to issue a comment on the ruling and US and other officials around the globe are still uncovering information in tens of thousands of leaked cables from the past five years of international communication. Assange’’s legal team has raised the possibility of Assange being handed over to the US after he was extradited. Sweden’s comment, “Nu-uh.”

Classy Republican Resigns After Topless Photos; Not Sarah Palin

Representative Christopher Lee (not the famous British actor who played Count Dooku in Star Wars) resigned from his position after photos of himself surfaced on the Internet. To be fair, he did, in fact, put them there. Lee responded to a “Women Seeking Men” ad on Craigslist by emailing the woman with a photo taken from the reflection of a mirror, with Lee shirtless and flexing his guns. The woman grew suspicious that Lee was lying (oh and he was) and broke of contact, but later gave the emails and photos to Gawker, a website that reveals scandals. (The Flying Bohunk Update would like to recognize that it covers other news as well) Lee is another shining example of Republican awesomeness; he received an 88% approval rating from the American Conservative Union and was a dedicated opponent to the repeal of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Act. He also voted against any funding for abortion for rape victims (classy, Lee) and was known for his “Family Values” voting record. Lee is married and has one child with his wife.

An appropriate photo for a legislator includes a shirt and tie…

Proof: World Going To Hell Via Handbasket

IIn Mexico, there are four pending patents on the tortilla. The tortilla has been around in central and south America since at least 5,000 years ago, and probably existed for thousands of years before first records of its use. These patents are seeking monetary recompense for the production of any item identifiable as a tortilla, from private to corporate use. Will any of these patents get stamped? No. But the sheer audacity and ballsy attitude of these patent attempts is a tribute to modern insanity and selfishness.

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