Denard Robinson: Transfer?, Mudslides, and Mormons…

Welcome to Thursday, and folks, it’s all down hill from here…Let’s just get started…

In the thundering emptiness that once was the Metropolis of Detroit, a serial rapist runs rampant (two points for alliteration) stalking women and forcing them at gunpoint into his car, taking them elsewhere to rape them. The targeted women are usually walking alone late and night or early in the morning when they are accosted, easy prey for sick SOBs like this guy. Some women were actually driving when the man stopped them at gunpoint and demanded they get out of their vehicle or be shot. Police have declined to announce how many women have come forward but the number is substantial enough to warrant a concentrated effort by the Detroit police (who usual lack effort of any kind, especially the concentrated sort) to find the man. Witnesses say he is late thirties, African-American and very thin with a mustache. So, for your safety, don’t walk around Detroit. Period.

Authorities compiled this sketch of the man. Looks a lot like
Antonio Cromartie, if you ask me….

Massive floods and mudslides claimed at least 270 people in Brazil yesterday after torrential rains and over flowing rivers and streams caused massive chucks of earth to dislodge from mountainsides. Over 250 were killed outside of Rio de Janeiro and 13 more outside of Sao Paolo. As much rain as Brazil averages in a month fell in just twenty four hours, breaking apart hills and over flowing the banks of nearly every body of water in the region. At least 60 are still missing, and the death toll is continuing to rise. Rescuers are focusing on locating and helping stranded survivors in the region before any attempt at retrieving bodies is attempted. Your thoughts are appreciated, and much more on this as news spreads. Same goes for the Australians suffering under floods around Brisbane, where many are dead and rescuers are still trying to locate the roughly 90 or so people still unaccounted for in the region….

Riots and protests (the Bohunk includes both, for it depends on your viewpoint; I prefer protests cause I prefer freedom) are raging in Tunisia, especially in the uninspired-named capital of Tunis. Lopping off the last part of your country’s name to name the capital is just lazy. Maybe that is why, in some small part, thousands are protesting against the Arab government in the country, similar to the protests in Sudan. Even the US is critical of the lack of freedom found in Tunisia, a very rare critique of the Arab-yet-pro-America government. It said that its attempted control of media, especially the Internet, endangers the freedoms of its citizens and the benefits of the Internet as a whole. Tunisian protesters have layered Tunis with spray painted “Freedom From 404”, a tagline playing on the 404, File Not Found response triggered by blocked or restricted sites. Bloggers and Internet journalists are piling on the Freedom Freeway, railing against the Tunisian government and have reposted images and videos from the protests, including the bodies of men shot and killed during protests just this very morning. Freedom, my friends, is not free; we need to hold it at all costs. More power to the Tunisian people, and we can only hope that they can find a more peaceful way of gaining their freedom of speech and expression…

Here are some depressing headlines I would include in the Update, but have chosen not to in order to prevent depression:

~Train shooting adds to Christian fears in Egypt
~Flood affects 1 million in Sri Lanka
~Mexico’s Grim Toll of Death In Drug War Hits New High

If you like the Mormons, and I know you don’t, today is the day they really got it started. In the wake of the Panic of 1837, Joseph Smith, yes, that Joseph Smith, led his little band of Latter Day Saints out of Ohio…fleeing from arrest. Smith claimed in 1823 that an angel visited him and told he was a prophet. In 1827, he happened upon some gold tablets (way cooler than Moses’ stone tablets, but not as cool as the Android Tablets) which he claimed was a new gospel. He released 5,000 copies of “The Book of Mormon”, outraging nearly everyone. Americans, historical easy to fool in religious matters (yep, looking right at you, Ghost of Billy Graham) and many flocked to the radical new make-believe story. After being driven out of New York, Ohio and Missouri, the Mormons ended up in Utah, though after Joseph Smith’s death. For an excellent look at the sheer balls of the man Smith, and of the incredible and literally unbelievable tale of the origin of a still thriving religion, check out Jon Krakauer’s “Under The Banner of Heaven”.

Denard Robinson takes flight; hopefully, he doth not fly too close to the sun…of Florida.

Quite quickly, the Bohunk’s Most Exciting Person of College Football, Denard Robinson, appears to be returning to the University of Michigan after his coach, Rich Rodriguez, was fired and then replaced by San Diego State coach Brady Hoke. Some speculated that the extremely gifted athlete would bolt to either Florida of the University of Central Florida if Rodriguez was fired, but the Dreadlocked Dodger says he would much prefer to stay in Ann Arbor. The new offensive coordinator, Al Borges, is reportedly very capable of adapting a spread offense to fit Robinson’s skillset, and that a meeting this morning between Robinson and Hoke would go a long way in determining Robinson’s future. The Bohunk thought RichRod should have been given one more year on the condition that he fired everyone even remotely related to the defensive side of the ball. Michigan’s defense, as the Bohonk has carefully and repeatedly noted, was just inconvenient to opposing offenses. They made scoring easy, and teams like Mississippi State hardly broke a bead while gallivanting up and down the field. But with Hoke, Michigan faces another 3 years of adjustment and tough times. And now, they have to play Nebraska….

A future Christmas celebration in Wisconsin…But remember, this
would be a bad thing environmentally…Don’t start trying to raise
the world’s temperature.

You should care about the environment. It is all around you and those you care about, and driving your Escalade to the river to dump out your used oil is no way to treat the most enveloping aspect of the nature world; again, it is all around all of us. Those who don’t believe in global warming, or, as it is more commonly and accurately known now, climate change, are flatly ignorant. And despite our knowledge of its effects, causes and potential consequences, the Global Community (that’s all of us, man) have failed to make any significant commitment to the future of our only planet. 2010 was the warmest year on record at 58.12 degrees on average, which is 1.12 degrees above the established average of the twentieth century. The idiot (or Republican) out there will say, “Yes, but that is but one degree! I shall retain my 12-cylinder Lamborghini!” The Bohunk will point out that, a few hundred years ago, the planet’s average temperature rose one degree after massive amounts of volcanic ash caused widespread greenhouse gases and heat retention. The result? It reversed a millions-of-years-old ice age, melting most glaciers, even one in North America that stretched from Hudson’s Bay in Canada, west to the Rockies, east to New York and south to Iowa…and was three miles thick. The world, as they say, has never been the same. And the change of temperature in that cause took a thousand years, not one hundred, which is essentially the 20th century till today. Can the earth shrug off out impact? Yes, absolutely. But it might shrug us off in the process, even if we survive wars over resources and water. 

Thanks for reading, see you again tomorrow for Foxy Friday, which might just feature the Oregon Ducks’ cheerleaders again, just for fun. Chapeau! 

Oregon, My Oregon, Cheer-Babe Special and An Aged Red Wine…

It’s 1/11/11 today, and I have no doubt that I was the one thousandth person to point that out to you today. Tell other people, as many as you can, even make it your Facebook status; we don’t want people to live uninformed that today is, in fact, 1/11/11. Moving on…

It was the BCS National Championship game, and though it pains the Bohunk’s very soul and beating heart, we shall discuss portions. The Auburn Tigers, led by dubious Cam “So Paid” Newton beat Oregon, My Oregon 22-19. Two amazing, prolific offenses and few points; don’t be surprised, these defenses had a month to prepare for the power of Auburn and speed of Oregon. Darren Thomas, the leader and quarterback for the Quack Attack, tossed two interceptions in the first half, an uncharacteristic performance. LeMichael James had just 49 yards rushing to Michael Dyer of Auburn’s 143. Oregon without the run isn’t Oregon; the play action passes didn’t freeze the defense, the zone reads and option plays were attacked without hesitation, and Thomas missed more than a few reads throughout the game. Enjoy all the hype and fame, Auburn, for it shall soon crash down upon you like the hand of God….As I highlight for all Justice Guided Peoples, the only picture I shall post from that terrible evening so close and hurtful in our minds is of the Oregon Amateur Cheer-Babes….

Go Ducks! Go Ducks! Ignore the disaster on the field and just Go Ducks!

While watching the game, the Bohunk could not believe the supporters of Auburn on social media. How, I wondered, could people root for someone they know tried to cheat, and in all likelihood is being paid for partaking in an amateur sport? A friend on Twitter commented “I wonder how much money Cam Newton will get for winning the National Championship?” Even the fact that he tried or is accepting money from Auburn is not enough. That is putting aside is known past; he was caught stealing computers while at the University of Florida, and he removed himself from that institution after being caught cheating in classes. His father shopped him around the SEC schools; to assume Cam Newton didn’t know is naïve and simple. Reggie Bush was guilty of accepting funds, a house and other privileges just a few months back, and he ‘didn’t know’, but he was declared ineligible and the wins taken away. How is Cam Newton’s situation any different? How do we know he did it? Last year, a week after Cam Newton signed to Auburn, his father Cecil Newton was driving a $72,000 Escalade. A week later still, and the pastor (yes, Cam’s dad is a man of the cloth BRIBING people and lying, Go Religion!) had enough funds to pay his local town board to remove the condemned ruling from his church and to begin repairs. Where did the money come from? You, my dear reader, tell me… 

*Bonus photo. I refuse to post another picture of Cam Newton. Go Ducks! Again!

Rare but inspiring good news from Haiti, a very important recurring article in the Update. It has almost exactly a year since an earthquake ripped apart the capital, Port-au-Prince, and only roughly 5% of the rubble that chokes the city’s streets has been removed. Now, before the National Palace, or the Champs de Mars plaza in front of the Palace are repaired, workers are putting the finishing touches on the Marche en Fer is nearly returned to it former glory. The 19th century building was actually constructed in France and intended to serve as a railway station in Cairo, Egypt. For reasons unknown, it landed in Haiti in 1891 and server as “the economic and cultural fulcrum of the city,” according to Irishman Denis O’Brien, a man who has invest millions into the restoration. O’Brien owns a cellphone market that thrived in Haiti, and his money has been used to hire “hundreds of workers, import materials and not flinch too much at cost overruns.” According to The New York Times, O’Brien has even filed his Haitian taxes a year early to help fund humanitarian efforts in the country. All praise and “props”, as the kids would say, to Mr. O’Brien and his efforts on behalf of the Haitian people. It might just get him into the Bohunk Hall of Fame, one day…

Jared L. Loughner, the man who shot and killed six in Tucson last Saturday, will not contest his detainment and forego any bail hearings. He has not made a plea, guilty or innocent, and is now under the counseling of a specialist lawyer, Judy Clarke. Clarke is a capital-defense lawyer who has been successful in getting death penalties reduced to life in prison for some shady characters like Theodore J. Kasczynski, Eric Rudoplh and Susan Smith. (Unabomber, Atlanta Olympics bomber, and drowned her toddlers, respectively) Her motivations for defended this criminals is her loathing of the death penalty, not, she says, only from a political standpoint, but also in her experiences with clients. After the Smith case, she returned to the State of South Carolina all $82,000 they had paid her as a public defendant and returned home, saying that defending life over death was reward enough. Her family tried to instill her with independent thinking, and they together rallied and organized a campaign to unseat Jesse Helms, a Republican Senator in the 1990s. Their actions were sparked by a letter from Helms, one Great Big Asshole, that Judy’s brother Mark had “played Russian roulette in his sexual activity” after Mark died of AIDS at the young age of 31. More on the Loughner case as it comes…

In tech an business news, Verizon is set to unveil the iPhone in their stores this Tuesday. The problem, however, is that a massive percentage of those who would like an iPhone already have them and are under contract with AT&T. In fact, AT&T sold about 15 million iPhones last year, though Verizon will surely sell a few million this year as well. The two are already taking shots at each other, most notably pointing out that Verizon’s iPhones will be markedly slowly because of their data format. Apple is reaping the benefits of the competition, however; shares in the company are up to an all-time high of $342.45. Apple’s market value is estimated at $314 billion, only behind Exxon-Mobil as the US’s richest company. All of that doesn’t matter; people just want to check Facebook compulsively and play “Angry Birds”…Imagine the heartlessness of those pigs stealing the birds’ eggs! I’d launch myself into any wild construction of ice and wood to break those pigs, too!

The world’s oldest vineyard ever was found. As you may have guessed, the Bohunk is a classy, debonair type gent, and has been known to be a discerning wine critic after years of working at a respected vineyard on the beautiful Old Mission Peninsula, Chateau Chantal. (I mostly carried cases of wine from the cellar to the tasting room) So imagine my interest (piqued, imagine it piqued) when scientists claimed to have found a winemaking operation roughly 6,100 years old. This would date the site during the Late Chalcolithic Period, the same age wherein the wheel was invented and the horse was domesticated, some pretty important parts of human history. The wine stuffs were found in a cave in Armenia by American, Armenian and Irish archeologists just this past week. The site had jarred seeds of grapes and other plants which will be studied for their DNA and to determine many aspects of daily ancient life. Botanists even want to plant some and to see if they bud, and what sort of fruit they would produce. Pretty cool, huh?

Thanks for reading folks, more and better effort tomorrow, as always. With any luck, you will find the strength to move on from the Oregon, My Oregon loss…

Foxy Friday, Ron Santo, and Whimpy Dems….

It’s Friday, which means you have survived another week. Celebrate with a strong draft of Update this lovely morning…

After backing down real whimp-like to Republicans earlier in the week, Democrats are now vowing to at least bring their measures of tax cut extensions and lapses to a vote. Aides say that the Democrats are hoping to vote on the middle and richer class tax extensions separately in order to ensure that the cuts for the middle class are extended. Republicans are pushing for all tax cuts to be extended, including those for the richest tax brackets (their friends and cronies) citing that no cuts should be allowed to stop in this economic climate. Reports say that talks are even coming from the White House and top GOP leaders, hoping to find some compromise that will satisfy both parties.

Quick tribute to Chicago Cubs legend and Gentleman Ron Santo, who died of bladder cancer yesterday. He was 70 years of age. Ron is one of the most beloved Cubs among the many legendary players to roam Wrigley field. Santo was an All-Star nine times and holds the dubious distinction of being the best player not in the Hall of Fame. Santo struggled with health issues from most of his life. He was diagnosed with diabetes at 18 and dealt with it for his entire career as a ballplayer, and afterwards, as he worked as a broadcaster for the Cubs beginning in the 1990 season. Santo will always be remembered as that always-smiling, always laughing personality, and he will he in the Hall before too long.

Ron Santo. Manned the hot corner at Wrigley for 13 years…

Jenna Fischer, or, as she is more widely known, Pam from “The Office” is working as a temp in downtown Detroit. Alas, it is but for a short time. Pam is nearly ready to begin filming on “The Giant Mechanical Man”, a movie in which she plays a character who falls in love with some guy who works at a zoo. This film is among many being shot in the Best Peninsula In The Whole World, including projects by Topher Grace (Eric from “That 70’s Show”)  and Bob Odenkirk. Director Sam Levinson’s “The Reasonable One”, filmed in Rochester, is also a contender at the Sundance Film Festival. Detroit is becoming a haven for the film industry…for now.

Well, it is indeed Friday, which means the inevitable announcement of this week’s Fox. The Bohunk is happy to announce Heather Irmiger, already a Bohunk Hall of Fame member, as the Fox of this very week. As one of the best mountain biking women in the world, Heather is the 2009 US National XC Champion, the US National Marathon Champion, the Pro XCT Short Track Champion and the Single Speed World Champion…All in a single year. She lives in Boulder, Colorado with her husband Jeremy Horgan-Kobelski, also a former US National Champion mountain biker. She is also very nice, friendly, and foxy. For her full bio, click your mouse right here.

Heather, in action…and also racing her bike.

In sporting news, LeQueen returned to the Land of the Cleves and put up 38 points while being thoroughly booed, ridiculed and cleverly chanted at. (The best chant was “AK-RON-HATES-YOU *clap-clap-clapclapclap*) The Heat won easily, 118-90, and before long, the few (nameless) players on their team began talking, laughing and smiling with their King James. The home fans were outraged, and poured out their anger well after the game had gotten out of hand. A truly uninspired performance by the Cavs, showing no signs of motivation…One would think LeBron was still actually on their team…

A sad update on the cholera outbreak in Haiti. Over 1,900 people have died of the disease, with untold thousands suffering from it. The very limited health care system in Haiti cannot handle it. One three room clinic in a rural town is treating 120 people, cramming patients in, sometimes simply sitting them on the floor and giving them clean water to drink. The outbreak is now sourced to a UN building that may have flushed its waste into a nearby water supply, contaminating drinking water for thousands in the area. Yes, the UN. However, some doctors say the spread is also a result of rural families making waste in their gardens and then drinking from an unprotected source. One hospital outside Port au Prince is in charge of a population of 60,000 expected to be at very high risk for exposure at the moment with only 2 doctors to treat them.

Happy Birthday, Joseph Conrad. Born in Poland under the really wild-looking name Josezf Teodor Konrad Korzeniowski in 1857, the Polish author and poet went on to be one of the best writers of a generation. He worked as hand on a freighter, travelling primarily to Britain where he would eventually gain citizenship. He worked on a barge that sailed into the Congo in the 1880’s, which would become the basis of his masterpiece, Heart of Darkness. Conrad did not write until the 1890’s, when he penned Almayor’s Folly, Nostromo and The Secret Agent. Conrad was a great writer who explored morality and personality in his characters to superb effect. You can find Heart of Darkness at Barnes and Noble.

That is, as they say, all. Thanks for reading this week, and check out the Top Post tomorrow. Enjoy amateur and professional football this weekend, and the Bohunk will be back on Monday.

Manning, the Pope/Condoms, and the End of Brett Favre…

Thank you, Green Bay Packers organization, for sending Brett Favre off into the last third of his last NFL season just a few games out of last place in the division. The Bohunk smelled upset, or at least a let down'; but the shellacking in Minnesota Sunday afternoon cemented the vault on the Vikings’ tomb* and Brett Favre’s career. He cried in a post game interview, waxed poetic over what-might-have-beens and finally admitted that the season was a bust. Mr. Favre, when you ask for all the attention and adulation, you get all the down side too. Thank you for 16 years of excellent Packers football, and may NFL fans and the Football Gods forgive these last three.

How bad was Favre against the Pack? Well, frustration, like an over boiled, possibly sexually frustrated and oft-intercepted pot of water, Favre blew his lid. Favre is a player above coaching while being very much in need of it. After tossing his league leading 17th interception, the Vikings offensive coordinator tried to have a word with the Aged Wonder; Favre had nothing to do with it. If this was any other player, Childress would have benched him a month ago.

The Flying Elvii, let by the Bieber-esque Tom Brady, beat the Indianapolis Lucky Charms by 3, nearly squandering a three score lead late in the fourth quarter. Led by the lesbian looking Bill Belicheck, the Pats are very quietly the best team in the NFL, a sentiment voiced by the Bohunk a month ago. Peyton Manning tossed some ugly interceptions, including one with under a minute to go with the Young Horses well within field goal range. A curious mistake in a game that was otherwise pressure-free for the Elder Oreo Eater.

Perhaps, Peyton, you should leave the licking to Eli and return to MVP
form. I will, of course, have a cookie, however.

In amateur football, Nebraska lost to Texas A&M (note the legitimate use of the ampersand there) to end all BCS hopes, the designs of which the Bohunk had been dissecting for the past two weeks. Now, the play their final post-Turkey Dinner game against Colorado, a personal favorite of mine for both of my decades alive on earth. With a win, they earn the right to play in the Big 12 Title game. With a loss, they shall slink into the Big 10 without hardware in their last season out west. (Editor’s Note: Watch your respective asses, Michigan State, Michigan and Ohio State)

TCU and Boise State won to remain undefeated while Oregon and Auburn were off for Saturday, preparing for games this Friday afternoon. Auburn plays #11 Alabama, which could be the last opponent with a legitimate shot at defeating Cam “I’m Getting Paid!” Newton and the Tigers. We can only hope…

On the college note, the Bohunk would like to thank an all-too-often-forgot tradition in collegiate foot ball…The baton girl. Yes, the baton girl, the quaint, smiling and heavily rouged youth who, bedecked in a dazzling, sparkling one-piece bathing suit, delights crowds of all ages (but mostly males ranging in age from puberty to creepily near the grace) with their, well, twirling. Thank you for your excellence, Baton Girls of America.

You, madam, are on fire.

The Pope is now closer than ever to condoms. The Holy Father said recently that the problem of “Aids cannot be solved only by the distribution of condoms alone,” but hinted that their use in limited contexts could be a vast improvement in countries where sexual transmitted disease is rampant (or, as any medical expert would tell you, everywhere). In Africa, where millions of sexual active individuals are HIV positive and millions are living with AIDS, the Vatican’s insistence that birth control is a form of sin has contributed greatly to the spread of the disease. In fact, the Pope’s committed and antiquated stance is followed by Catholics around the globe (they are the families with 6 kids) and is a contributing factor to the overpopulation of underdeveloped nations like those found in South America. Perhaps the Pope will finally expand the okay-ed use of contraceptives to include all couples. Sooner, rather than later, would be appreciated….

In the Bohunk’s ongoing interest in the country of Haiti, I regret to say that officials are now reporting that roughly 1,250 people have died of the now rampant cholera epidemic that has spread throughout the nation. A further 21,000 people have been stricken with the disease. Roughly 63 of the deaths have come in the capital, Port-au-Prince, which is now home to tens of thousands of refugees seeking shelter after a earthquake last January ruined much of the city. 230,000 people died in that earthquake. If you would like to make a donation, please follow this link to the Clinton Bush Haiti Relief Fund.

For a brave young chap looking for work in the newspaper field (perhaps, you might see, like the Bohunk) the following would be of some interest. Super, uber rich guy Rupert Murdoch, CEO of News Corp may just be in an unholy alliance with Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple. The two are rumored to be either created an online-only newspaper designed for iPad, or they are just showing each other their willys. The cyber newspaper would stream to any Apple 3G-enabled device for about $4.25 a day, cheaper than your print version and you don’t have to go outside to get it (you lazy SOB) in adverse conditions. In slightly related news, the iPad 2 is now expected to be released this coming April.

Thanks for reading, enjoy Denver vs. San Diego this evening on Monday Night Football.

* Vikings were traditionally burned on funeral pyres from the 3rd century on, though some evidence shows nobles or warriors were set out in warships meant to sink, the body surrounded with weapons and treasures piled high about them.

Murder Most Foul, Hall of Fame, and NFL Stuff….

Welcome to the Week before Thanksgiving, where many a teenage girl begins to starve herself before the gluttonous bounty that is Turkey Day itself….

A quick gesticulation to the –> right of your screen to bring your attention to the All-New Flying Bohunk Hall of Fame, chronicling famous folk who have made a visit to the blog since its meteoric rise to mediocrity. Illustrious names like Ted King, Todd Wells and Heather Irmiger grace the Hall, and the Bohunk will be bothering other Big Names to add to those ranks.

The fan favorite herself, Heather Irmiger. Note the number of riders
behind her….All of them. New HoF inductee.

The Detroit Lions lost to the heretofore winless Buffalo Ballcap Brims in a close but ugly, ugly football contest. The unsightly 12-14 score was indicative of the game itself. Detroit offered up 11 penalties to Ryan “I Graduate From Harvard, Pip, Pip” Fitzpatrick and the now 1-7 Bills. Fitzpatrick, an undrafted free agent who is now, statistically, one of the top ten quarterbacks in the league is this year’s Bohunk Breakout Player of the First Portion of the Season.

“A true Harvard chap will celebrate all wins by
investing in a long term CD and uttering a rousing,
’Pip, pip.’”

The Cowboys (not, mind you, cow-gentlemen) beat the New York Football Players Of Large Stature. They are now 2-7, but, as the head coach would point out, 1-0 under their new head coach, Jason Garrett. The Pokes overcame some ugly penalties and took advantage of Eli Manning’s distracted play (thinking about Oreos) to return a TD 101 yards off an interception. A good record for the remainder of the season might just allow the Red-Headed Garrett keep the job into next year, especially if a prolonged negotiation takes place as a new labor deal is discussed for the NFL.

In not-officially-paid-football, Auburn, Oregon, My Oregon and Boise State frolicked amongst the tulips, pushing aside some competition to remain undefeated. The truly interesting team at this point of the season is LSU; should the Purple Tigers (as I call them) win out, they just might have enough points to jump over either Boise or TCU to get into a BCS game. If that should happen, it would offer Boise and TCU opportunities to beat teams from automatic qualifier conferences and prove a point the Bohunk has repeatedly hammered into critics; if these non-automatic qualifier teams aren’t really any good, then why not let them play the Big Boys? The BCS has conveniently matched up the non-automatic qualifiers whenever possible since Boise upset Oklahoma in 2007. In the immortal words of Bobby Z., “I ain’t sayin’ nothin’, I’m just sayin’.”

Sad news from Haiti; the recent outbreak of cholera, which has since spread and thousands in the beleaguered nation, has claimed over 900 lives. Of the nation’s 10 provinces, 6 have confirmed deaths from cholera. Estimates place the number of people hospitalized at 14,000 since the outbreak began last month. The UN is now asking for $164 million to combat the disease. 121 people have died of cholera since Friday.

In technological news, Facebook has vowed to create a “Gmail-killer” with its new integrated email service. Reports of Facebook’s plan to create an email service have long been rumored though more concrete indications of the move surfaced last week. The Bohunk was going to include it, but, I was checking my Facebook. The company already has roughly 500 millions members (only 800 of which are are my friends (makes sad face and slumps shoulders)) that would be quick to adopt the new service. Quote from Gmail, Yahoo! and Hotmail: “Bring it on, bitches.”

Scientists from around the globe are exhuming the grave of famed astronomer Tycho Brahe, a Danish gentleman born in 1546 and who died in 1601 under mysterious circumstances. After a 1901 exhumation, scientists back then thought he died of a bladder infection; now, in a much cooler theory, some believe Brahe had abnormally and even lethal amounts of mercury in his blood system at the time of his death, leading some to believe he died of murder…murder most foul. Brahe died while in the Motherland (Prague, in what is now Czech Republic but has been and always will be the land of my people) at the invitation of Holy Roman Emperor Rudolph II after the Brahe’s dispute with the Danish king. Brahe is credited with collected the most accurate data of celestial bodies of any person in his lifetime

**Bonus Fact: Brahe was in a duel at some point in his life. The sword of a fellow nobleman reportedly cut off the end of his nose, which was replaced by a piece of metal. Scientists are hoping to find this piece of metal to determine what it was made of and if it could have been a reason for Brahe’s elevated mercury levels. 

Thanks for reading, hope you had an excellent weekend. Enjoy Monday Night Football this evening, Washington Native Americans against the Philadelphia “Boos When A Player Might Be Paralyzed” Eagles….Haven’t forgot about you, Colts WR Austin Collie… Stay strong, brother…

Whorrior of the Week, Sartre and Dusty Baker...

The #1 Oregon Ducks ended the streak of top teams falling by scoring many, many points more than UCLA could muster. 60-12 is no close game, and as BCS officials mull the inclusion of figure skating judges to assess "style points", big victories over conference opponents sparkle like a bedazzled unitard.

Brett Favre refused to comment on his meeting with NFL representatives about accusations about his inappropriate text messages with former Jets employee (and total babe)Jenn Sterger. He was asked three times about the meeting by reporters and what was discussed, to which he replied "These things will play out." Hasn't he learned anything from Alberto Contador? Deny, deny and deny. Blame someone or something else. Say that it was somebody else's tainted man meat in the photos. Say someone stole your phone. At least he is trying to let the story die down...This is better than saying he did do it, then he didn't do it, then he wasn't sure if he did it, until Ryan Longwell and some teammates fly to his locker tell him to shut up.

In Haiti, over 138 people are dead after an outbreak of cholera. The country, which is still reeling from a massive earthquake, decades of poverty and political strife, has taken steps to combat the disease from spreading. Will this garner any attention in the U.S? Probably not, as news channels have mid term elections to cover. Christine O'Donnell: Witch or No Witch will take up four or five hours of coverage in the U.S., but 138 dead will only be covered on the ticker. How quickly we lose interest.

In naval news, a U.K. nuclear class sub ran aground off of Scotland. The captain was quoted as saying, "Son of a bitch, I've scuffed the hull." While the Royal Navy points out the sub was not armed with any nuclear warheads, the potential disaster just off the coast would still be a public relations nightmare should any contamination have taken place due to a breached hull. This is what happens when the British learn naval tactics by watching repeats of the A&E hit series, "Horatio Hornblower".

Did you notice all that baseball still being played? It's the playoffs! The Yankees and Phillies, heavy favorites heading into the postseason, are both trying to come back from early series deficits to the Rangers and the Giants, respectively. Somewhere, Darth Vader is not pleased, as the Yankees struggle and the Evil Empire looks vulnerable. The Giants, in the NLCS, have squeezed out hits against the vaunted starters of the Phils, making Halladay and Hamels look frustrated and uncharacterstically out of sync. The Bohunks call? Giants in 7 and Rangers in 6...and you can take that to Subway.

On this day in 1964, Jean-Paul Sartre won the Nobel Prize for literature, only to decline the award, which was the most French thing he could think to do. Sartre, who popularized existentialism, did not explain his reasoning with the public, though many French citizens were outraged that he would not accept the honor. Sartre was supporter of Communism, a student of other French masters such as Baudelaire, and an excellent writer of both philisophial works and literature. The existentialism movement, which subscribed to the idea that man had to create meaning for his life because existence does not have some innate meaning itself, was a popular topic of philosophy for decades and still is the most famous theory of being from Europe still discussed by intellectuals.

Somewhere, Dusty Baker just woke up and realized the Reds were out of the playoffs...He stood, wiped the drool from his chin, and walked alone from the dugout, his heavy footsteps echoing forlornly in the emptied stadium.

It's Thursday, and that means its time for the Whorrior of the Week. This morning, we honor the skanky, tirelessly self-demeaning antics of Short-Skirt Peacoat. Yes, this blonde with particles of vomit and bottlecaps in her hair strode with the aching strides of the repeatedly pounded skank-tastic champion her father wishes she was not. In the frosty morning darkness, the wind whipped her peacoat open to reveal a long t-shirt stained with God-knows-whose wasted seed. You, Short-Skirt, deserve fully the title of Whorrior of the Week.

Thanks for a great week, tell your friends to read again on Monday. Enjoy "Pirates of the Carribean" tonight on ABC Family...