Big, Strong, German: Tony Martin Wins Tour of the Algarve

Alberto Contador avoided a one-year ban and very quickly joined the Tour of the Algarve on this past Wednesday, his first competition since the Tour last July after his suspension for doping. Contador held on Friday for a steep finishing climb to stay in the top five, but very, very German Tony Martin won the time trial that concluded the race to keep Alberto off the top step of the podium or even on it. Alberto finished well outside of the top ten on in the time trial but held on to fourth place overall, forty-one seconds behind Martin, who took the overall title.

Close but no clenbuterol: El Pistolero comes up short at the
Algarve.

Contador won the last two editions of the Tour of the Algarve and admitted after the race he was simply not in shape to win it again. Other riders have some racing miles in their legs and, coming off of his suspension, Contador has not pushed a pedal in anger since the second to last stage of the 2010 Tour de France.

RadioShack note: Tiago Machado, Jesse Sergent and Andreas Kloden all finished in the top five of stage six, and Kloden placed fifth overall for the race.

Lance Armstrong Montage

Lance Armstrong retired officially yesterday, indicating he will not ride the Quiznos Challenge or Tour of California in 2011. Lance won seven Tours de France, was a world champion and served as an inspiration for millions of cancer survivors while raising money and awareness through his foundation. Today, forget just for a moment the drug accusations and the federal investigation. Wasn’t it just fun to watch him race? Yes, I believe it was. The Bohunk can admit that there is an awful lot of indication of wrongdoing, but nothing has stuck yet. So, regardless if you hate Lance, or love him, and you probably aren’t in between, enjoy a few pictures from his amazing career….

A young, world champion Lance Armstrong and American Tour champ Greg LeMond…This may be the only friendly conversation the two ever had.

A grainy look at Lance on the brink. One of his later chemo treatments in the mid 90’s.

Sestriere in 1999: The attack that won him
the Tour and made him the best climber in
the world over Marco Pantani.

The Look: 2001, Lance takes a peep at rival Jan Ulrich. Lance went; Ulrich could not.

Lance won his seventh tour in 2005, and retired shortly after.

Comeback 2.0 resulted in a third at the Tour and, as Lance often said himself, it was a lot more work.

Crashes marred 2010, including this one at the Tour of California, the same day Floyd Landis began his campaign against Lance in the press.

We will leave Lance here, on his way to 23rd place at the Tour in 2010, but still riding well even at 38 years old.

(More) Proof: World Going To Hell Via Hand Basket

Saxo-man Contador cannot believe the Tainted Beef Story worked…see you at Algarve, Pistolero.

In cycling, typically, once a rider is suspended, an appeal is asked for by the rider, upheld, handled poorly over  a long period of time, then denied. Alberto Contador got his one year ban overturned, effective today and meaning “El Pistolero” will be eligible to join in for the Algarve racing event in Portugal later this week. It also means he’ll be there for the Giro d’Italia, the Tour de France and all the warm up races Tour contenders frequent in the months of April, May and June. So much for “zero tolerance”. The ruling completely ignored the evidence of plasticizers in Contador’s samples, which cannot be explained away by the old stand-by, tainted beef. This story is too old and, now, too frustrating, to continue on with. Barring anything dramatic, like a judicial admission of corruption or something thoroughly juicy, you will indeed see Contador in Italy and France this season, and, no doubt, contending for the podium in both events. You will. You just, my Dear Readers, will.

Ricco: Shame On You

Disgraced and somewhat creepy Vaconsoleil rider Riccardo Ricco was rushed to the hospital  early Sunday morning, confessing, or so it is claimed, to have botched a blood transfusion. Ricco is just returning from a two year ban after being caught with generous amounts of CERA during the Tour de France in 2008. Gazzetta dello Sport is reporting that Ricco was attempting to swap blood ahead of the Tour Mediterraneen which began today in France. The paper charges that poor preservation practices led to the blood becoming contaminated, and when bad blood is returned to the system, it causes a terrifyingly serious case of septicaemia, kidney blockage and a dangerously high temperature, all symptoms Ricco was suffering when admitted to the hospital. These high temperatures cause the membrane of cells to deteriorate and release toxins into the blood stream, which can potentially cause permanent kidney damage.

Ricco being escorted from the Tour de France in 2008 after a positive test.

Authorities searched Ricco’s home but found no evidence of blood doping, which is a crime in Italy, severe enough to have at least a 3 month jail sentence, and Ricco could potentially face up to three years in prison if convicted. Some pills found in the home were sent for analysis. Ricco served a ban from racing after his positive in 2008, returning under the short lived guidance of Aldo Sassi, a legendary Italian cycling coach who has since passed from a long battle with cancer. The Bohunk recommends the cycling world forget about Ricco entirely; he is not worth our time or the ink we could use on decent human beings.

Tour of California: Dope as Hell

The Amgen Tour of California has quickly become the US’ top stage race. Drawing the likes of Levi Leipheimer, Lance Armstrong, Michael Rogers and a host of international cycling giants, it is already a fixture for top pro teams, especially those leaning heavily on American sponsors, like Garmin and RadioShack. The ToC will be drugged tested by the US Anti-Doping Agency, a connection that will withdraw power from the International version which had tested the event, and many others worldwide for the past two decades. The ToC drew heavy criticism in its inaugural year, 2006, by not testing for EPO, a blood boosting drug that was extremely prevalent and popular throughout the ‘90s and early 2000s. Amgen, the title sponsor of the ToC, is a pharmaceutical company that produces EPO and other drugs meant for cancer and other medical uses. The USDA will begin out of competition testing for all of its entrants 90 days before the races start on May 15th.  

HTC’s Tony Martin, the 2010 winner, enjoys Cal-eh-fornia Gurls and the sweet, tingling sensation of victory.

The End of Alberto Contador and the Tainted Spanish Beef

Alberto Contador’s ban is official; one year. However, as noted in an article this morning on VeloNews.com, the official date of when his ban begins is up in the air. Contador has not raced at all since the Tour de France, skipping a handful of small races and criterium events for uncited reasons. We learned later that it was probably because he already learned about the positive test and he wanted to avoid having those results taken away as well. If the ban begins retroactively from the end of July and the conclusion of the Tour, Contador could then start the Vuelta. Riding in his home country’s race as a return to cycling would be an irresistible option for the Spaniard, and give him a chance to win a title for his new Saxo-Bank squad. No official date has been announced, though the matter should be cleared up very soon. Contador will hold a press conference today to reveal his reactions and any intent to appeal the ruling.

“Alberto, stop doing the little pistolero thing, you’re a
convicted doper now…”

*Since it has been resolve, the Bohunk sadly announces the greatest recurring article title ever known. Goodbye, The Case of Alberto Contador and the Tainted Spanish Beef. You will be missed whilst giggling.

Tainted Beef Conclusion and Chopin...

Reports from Espana (Spain, for my monolingual 'Merican audience) indicate that Two or Three time Tour de France champion Alberto Contador will likely be banned for one year after months of deliberation and investigation. The Spanish newspaper Marca and others are reporting that the decision on Alberto Contador and the Case of the Tainted Spanish Beef will be announced Thursday, resulting in a single year ban that would keep him from racing in any events this season. Reports from the Contador Camp say that they do not believe these early bits of leaked information, not even that the announcement will come Thursday. This is, frankly, an ugly time for cycling. If Contador doped last year, he has been doping the whole time. That means Armstrong's seven Tour wins, Landis' one and Contador's three represent over a decade of Tours won by cheaters. That is amazing; imagine the NFL investigating the last ten Super Bowl winners at the same time, and one team already admitting they had cheated. (Oh, right, the Patriots admitted to spying, but at least not in the Super Bowl) So, for a sport already struggling for sponsors and attention, the realization that even its best are fake, drugged up men in Lycra could be extremely damaging, even crippling. More on this on Thursday...

In other news, we recall the great pianist Frederic Chopin, who was said by his contemporaries to be the most astounding artist of his day (the Bohunk tends to agree). Chopin had a strange habit of losing consciousness and going into a dream-like state, even while performing before a packed audience. The Bohunk uses Chopin's sonattas to fall asleep; I never found Chopin's slumber all that surprising when I read of it. Now, however, Spanish doctors, apparently less busy after trying to exonerate Contador, have found that Chopin probably suffered from temporal lobe epilepsy, a condition that creates hallucinations that last from seconds to some minutes. Chopin claimed to be able to describe his dreams in very minute detail, another indication that these fits were in fact the result of epilepsy and not, as the novelist and very, very French person Aurore Dudevant claimed, "the manifestation of a genius full of sentiment and expression. Which would have been much cooler, but not scientifically viable.

Allegations, Grimaces, and a Good-Bye…

Thursday, folks, but, you already knew that….Let’s get to it…

Hell hath frozen over; if you are buying a coffee from Starbucks, there is now an app for that. Apple unveiled an app made to make the unthinkable a reality; you can now purchase a latte or Frappuccino if you forgot your wallet. The app allows you to put money on an account, then, upon walking to the counter, scan your phone (which briefly displays a barcode) and make your order. How that is in anyway faster than simply swiping your credit or debit card, I have absolutely no idea, but, it is not to the Bohunk to question why. If you want to ooze Starbucks affiliation, this is the app for you….

Researches have spotted a disturbing trend in elevated suicide rates for National Guard or Reserve soldiers, most typically while not deployed. The number of suicides of non-active reservists nearly doubled last year, from 80 to 145. A major contributing factor (besides repeated deployments to a warzone) is the logistical problem of providing access to counseling and post traumatic stress experts in the States. The broken marriages and relationships, lost jobs and difficulties faced by a prolonged absence are contributing factors, but the Army is clueless, especially about the dramatic rise. One commander, a Maj. General Raymond Carpenter says that roughly half of the suicides in his company are attributable to troubled relationships at home. Many experts are hoping that a universal network of counselors will be established, both in theaters of war and in the US, in order to provide expense-paid access to help upon returning home. The war is not only fought afar….

Carla Swaft riding for South Africa at Worlds…

In more sad news (my apologies), the cycling community honors the loss of Carla Swart, a 23 year old cyclist killed yesterday while on a training ride in South Africa. Swart was a promising star for HTC-Highroad entering her first full season with the pro squad. She was a college student who balanced an international racing schedule along with the demands of homework and family life. In the cycling community, any loss is widely mourned as if it were a very close friend, and for many, Carla was. Her alma mater, Lees McRae College is already working to establish a scholarship in her honor, to be awarded to a female cyclist each year. You can donate to this fund by sending a check to Lees-McRae College with a note of ‘Carla Swart Scholarship ‘ in the memo line. Here is the address:

Lees-McRae College Office of Advancement
P.O. Box 128, Banner Elk, NC 28604

A not-so-fond farewell; Juan Pelota faces more charges than ever before….

Ben Swift of Team Sky won the second stage of the Tour Down under while Team RadioShack sprinter took the overall lead, donning the ochre jersey as top man. The sprint finish was marred by a violent high-speed crash in the closing kilometers of the race. One of the most scarred and bloodied riders was the sprint favorite Mark Cavendish, who sustained some ugly cuts and bruises when someone hit some gravel in the road while rounding a tight, congested corner late in the stage which ended in Mannum. With several stages left to go, the sprinters are still at the top of the standings with other contenders lurking back. Still no moves from the likes of Armstrong, Gerrans and Porte in the lack of any real climbs, leaving the likely win to a sprinter or a rider with lots of power. Armstrong is catching flak after rumors and allegations of doping in the early 90s have risen after a Sports Illustrated article was partially leaked two days ago, as reported in the Update yesterday. It documents, or claims to, that Armstrong tested positive for unnatural testosterone to epitestosterone levels of 9:1, 7.6:1 and 6.5:1 over a four years span. It alleges that the Olympic Committee, or members of the Committee, tested athletes in private to avoid public positives and then allowed the drugs to deplete before submitting the rider to public tests. All of this is according to notes taken in the over a decade long span ending around the period of the 2000 Sydney games in Australia. Representatives from Armstrong say they have no comments.

President Obama welcomed our overlord, or landlord, or Chinese President Hu Jintao, or whatever you’d like to know him by, to the White House today to talk currency and trade issues. The talks were ungainly and slow due to translation delays, but Obama says he made frank remarks about the poor human rights record China is infamous for, and also the lack of effort to strengthen China’s currency, the yuan. The Chinese leader repeatedly failed to reply to certain questions and statements, claiming at times not to understand the translator (he brought his own, mind you) and declined to divulge any detailed plans of bringing about more freedoms in his country. Conversely, Obama acknowledges that the US is neck-deep in debt to the diminutive Hu, and the aloofness of the visiting diplomat is uncannily similar to someone stopping by to see if his tenant will be able to make rent by the end of the month. (Obama: “Check’s in the mail, bro, promise.”)

Those aren’t smiles; these men despise each other so much a grimace is all they can
manage for the cameras. The Bohunk wonders what they are muttering under their
breaths…

  Another short and sweet Update, enjoy NBC’s Thursday night line-up, all new, and don’t panic; 30 Rock has moved to 10. Don’t have a cow. Thanks for reading, now you can go back and check Facebook again….

Cromartie, Poe, Droopy Dog and the Pasta Investigation…

It is Wednesday, verily, the day of the hump and also of the “Modern Family” at 9, 8 Central. Fight the doldrums until then, and the week will be over before you know…In 48 hours or so.

Reports are that Senator Joe Lieberman (gasps) will not run for President in 2012 (awwwwww) according to members of his staff and certain close aides. The 68 year old senator from Connecticut will announce the decision later in the week or by the end of this month, much to the relief of almost no political rivals. The move benefits Democrats chiefly, at least in the minds of several political pundits. Lieberman spent most of his career as an important figure in the Democratic Party, though has spent the last four years in a creepy ex-boyfriend who has slept around with your enemy stigma attached. Lieberman jumped ship, if you will, ahead of the 2008 Presidential campaign, backing John McCain instead of Barack Obama. He will retire from public service when his current term concludes in two years, quietly bowing from the spotlight and enjoying time with his friends and family. Until then, however, Joe will have to skate the slippery slope between a drastically and violently divided Senate, even in the wake of the supposed ‘peace’ of the Tucson shootings.

Joe Lieberman.

A massive 7.2 earthquake rocked a sparsely populated area of Pakistan today, roughly 200 miles from the closest urban center but strong enough to take a few casualties even in the remote regions of the Pakistani desert. Final reports from the closest cities are not finalized or confirmed, but only one woman was said to have died of a heart attack triggered by the quake. A 7.2 earthquake is massive, similar in strength to the one that triggered the tsunami in the Indian ocean five years ago. An added danger in the region is the poor construction of homes; most structures are made or mud-brick and wood and fail almost immediately during a heavy quake. More on this is it is necessary….

Following up on a religion vs. science story from a month back, the University of Kentucky was forced to pay $125,000 to an astronomy professor who recently brought charges of discrimination against the school after being turned down for a job. To be fair, $125,000 is probably what Kentucky spends on a single basketball recruit each summer, but this is harder to swallow because it won’t translate into PPG. The snubbed professor, C. Martin Gaskell, says he was denied a job with the University because he hinted a belief “something close to a creationist” and “potentially evangelical” in e-mails that circulated within the schools department. To note, however, allowing a person whose research and observations are clouded by religion certainly has an impact on how that professor looks at science. To be fair, however, the University of Kentucky failed to handle the situation properly, which, as we all know, is to deny, deny, deny and then counter-sue.

In another twist in the on-going Pasta Investigation of Lance Armstrong (throw everything at him and see what sticks) reports surfaced of more allegations indicating that Armstrong encouraged and even required EPO use on his Motorola team in the 90s. An unnamed teammate from the ‘95 squad said that Armstrong was the “instigator” of doping on the squad, even instructing teammates on how to use EPO and, more importantly, how to hide it. This is not news, however, the Bohunk finds the recurrent claims of the same charges intriguing…Why repeat the same accusations for almost a year? If there is so much evidence, why can’t anyone present tangible evidence of guilt besides nameless teammates casting blame? Even the FBI admits that it has conducted little to no investigative activity in the past three months, showing that they really have nothing to add to the case. Innocent, innocent, innocent…until factually and indisputably proven guilty by hard evidence.

Lance Armstrong as a Motorola rider and World Champion…before the cancer, the Tours and the allegations….

On this very day in 1809, the dark and mysterious and macabre Edgar Allen Poe was born. After being raised by his godfather, John Allan, Poe wrote three volumes of poetry to almost no acclaim or attention. He took a job as an editor of the Southern Literary Messenger in Richmond, Virginia and married his 13 year old cousin, which, though teachers tell you wasn’t uncommon at the time, was, in fact, a touch odd, even by the standards of the day. He drank heavily and lost his job, forcing a move north to Philadelphia where he kept busy with his hands in a few publications as an editor and a critic. His most famous works, including The Tell-Tale Heart, The Murders At the Rue Morgue and The Fall of the House of Usher all were written during this period, which was actually one of the most tranquil and relatively peaceful of Poe’s life. The stories themselves, however, did not reflect stability; they were odd, dark, horrific and dabbled in mystery, giving Poe the title of the father of the detective story. The Poes moved once more to New York City, where Poe penned "The Raven” his most famous poem. His wife died in 1847, driving Poe to even more voluminous drinking, eventually stumbling into a gutter drunk and dying somewhere in Baltimore in 1849. Poe was forty years old. 

The Bohunk casually and without much concern put forth his AFC Championship prediction, in two parts. A) I don’t care, I think both clubs, Thieves and Aeronautical Studies, alike in a uniform thuggery and criminal mind. There are more fines and arrests between these two teams to equal all of the other teams in the NFL. How can anyone root for them? B) That said, I’ll take the Steelers over the Jets by the simple reasoning of choosing, however reluctantly, the lesser of two great evils. It should be a close contest, if it does not devolve into fisticuffs after James Harrison spears Sanchez and Antonio Cromartie leads his Army of Children into battle (though he doesn’t know any of their names) in retaliation.

Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie and two Baby-Mamas-To-Be…

A short and not so sweet Update today, though my apologies must be accepted due to impossible circumstances; I have a lot of homework and little sleep. Thanks for reading, folks, and enjoy your day in spite of all things and people…

Foxy Friday, Influential Polygons, Leopard-Trek and Nebulae…

It’s Foxy Friday, my dear readers, but we will put that aside for now to tackle some of the bigger issues of the day. No, not Snooki’s book, real, real, REAL news….

The Pentagon, the most influential polygon, says it plans to cut $100 billion in upcoming budgets. It says the Army and Marines will shrink by roughly 47,000 troops or about 6%, the first reduction in defense structure since before September 11, 2001. The troop shrink will hit full tilt but 2015, conveniently as all withdrawals are made in Iraq, and Afghan security forces are expected to take over all operations in their country. To completely look like a dick, Defense Secretary Robert Gates says the budget cuts were not motivated for a long-term push for peace; instead, he says the international recession is the major influence for the move, not, again, in the interest in peace or diplomacy. Only “extreme fiscal duress” could cause the Armed Forces to retract in size and scope. Heaven forbid we spend that sum on education, health care or social security. Gates, the ballsy son of a bitch, was quick to point out that further budget matters would be addressed by Congress and the President, and that the decreased size of the military may not be a permanent action, but a mere short term road block. Now, the Pentagon is itching to cut health care benefits to defense department retirees, which is a massive portion of the department’s budget. In five years it is expected to be well over $65 billion, a conservative number considering the tens of thousands of veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan that will still need long-term care, in addition to normal coverage. The Bohunk proposes: Make the Pentagon operate on the same budget as social security, or enlist the elderly. Or both. Then they wouldn’t be so quick to bomb brown people in the Middle East…

“Don’t worry, we will be back to our current capacity to murder and kill in a few years.
Taxpayers won’t pay for each other’s insurance, but they sure as heck enjoy spending
a million smackarooneys on a bomb that can kill hundreds. That, they’ll go for.”
~Robert Gates (Not really, but damn close)

Out in space, the Lagoon Nebula is looking good. New photos are out of the nebula, a region of budding stars four or five thousand light years away. The Visible and Infrared Survey Telescope at the European Southern Observatory (long ass name, huh?) in Chile snapped the pictures, some of the most detailed astronomical photos of the new millennium. The nebula is similar in many aspects to our own Milky Way and could reveal hints of how galaxies, star systems and even planets are formed. Look at how very far we have come; just a century before, many people were quite sure the Milky Way was the universe, and that the Earth was very much at the center of it. Then, we discovered some more galaxies, and now we imagine (because we have such limited technology we can’t prove a lick of what we know outside mathematical theorem) there to be billions of galaxies, and that our own little planet is really on the outer edge of a galaxy quite non-central in the universe. As Bill Bryson is quick to say, “We haven’t the foggiest idea.” We don’t know everything, we know almost nothing. The universe, my friends, is the greatest mystery.

The Lagoon Nebula. Perhaps, therein lies some alien creature. Maybe. Just Maybe.

  In answer to my Dear Brother’s question from this morning, “Who the fuck is Michele Bachmann?”, I have gathered evidence enough to conclude the following: nobody. Bachmann is a (oh, you guessed it, didn’t you?) Republican Representative from Minnesota who is attractive, overly talkative and completely unqualified in any way whatsoever to hold the highest office in these United States. She will probably run for President, backed by tons of TeaBaggers and their money, though she is very actively not-denying that she has a potential interest in perhaps, should the conditions arise, maybe, run. This sort of wishy-washy non-commitment hogwash is the same tactic chicks used in high school to run for Prom Court. She says maybe, but inside, she is dreaming of puffy sleeves and a tiara. She is big on small government. She wants to ‘repeal’ the health care plan, and ‘repeal’ Obama in 2012. To note, you cannot repeal a person. That’s stupid. But essentially, she follows the GOP line and deviates only to pander to the Tea Party. What a ‘rogue’. So, in the interest of every American, please Bachmann, run. Because if America has to pick between you and Sarah Palin, Obama will win.

You’ve made it, kind sir (or madame) to the Fox of the Week. This installment features the wonderful Scarlett Johansson. She began her career in 1994 in North a picture some might remember but most didn’t see. Perhaps her biggest break came with the Great Bill Murray in Lost In Translation, which was best described to the Bohunk by my father, Joe (who looks and acts uncannily like Bill Murray, it should be noted) as a film which entailed, “A lot of staring out windows and looking bored or something artistic and shit.” However, people did see that movie and seemed to rather like it. The Bohunk’s personal favorite Johansson flick is The Prestige, also starring Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman, flanked by Michael Caine as well. If you haven’t seen it, do so immediately. To disappoint more than a few readers who are uninformed, Scarlett is married to Ryan Reynolds, who is more handsome and affluent than you are.

Scarlett Johansson: Timeless beauty. God Bless Sweden.

Team Leopard-Trek was unveiled today, the Luxemburg Project that was spear headed by the Schleck Brothers, formerly of Saxo-Bank. The siblings pulled along the meat AND potatoes of their former squad, including Fabian “Spartacus” Cancellara, the world’s greatest time trialist  and Classics champ. The squad includes:

• Daniele Bennati (Ita), Liquigas-Doimo – sprinter, classics
• Fabian Cancellara (Swi), Saxo Bank – classics, TTs
• Stefan Denifl (Aut), Cervélo – climber, attacker
• Brice Feillu (Fra), Vacansoleil – climber, stage-hunter
• Jakob Fuglsang (Den), Saxo Bank – all-rounder
• Linus Gerdemann (Ger), Milram – all-rounder
• Dominic Klemme (Ger), Saxo Bank – worker, attacker
• Anders Lund (Den), Saxo Bank

The Bohunk casually predicts two Grand Tour wins (Giro and France) and the Roubaix and Milan-San Remo. Paris-Nice could go either way, depending on Contador’s suspension. The UCI recently ranked its teams, with Leopard-Trek taking the top spot over win-factories like HTC-Columbia, Rabobank and Garmin-Cervelo. The team has a ton of firepower and committed domestiques, a dangerous professional combination. The Bohunk is awaiting a contract offer…

Thanks for reading and enjoy a great weekend. The Bohunk will be checking in from the road, but back again on Monday with all new stuff, back in Allendale and the Grandest Valley State University. Chapeau!

Starbucks, Rich Rod, Holes and the N~Word…

It’s Thursday, you may notice, which is one day before Friday and then the weekend. The problem, or blessing depending on your view, is that upon the completion of the weekend, this cycle begins anew. Stave off the inevitable with the Update…

Jumping straight to the good stuff, we find ourselves in the heated debate of black holes. One of the most mysterious aspects of our universe is the black hole, long believed to be exaggerated by high speed collisions. The black hole devours all matter around it, and then, over the course of a few billion years, reemerges and develops, over a few more billion years, into a new galaxy or star system. Some black holes develop an inconstant rates, accelerating quickly at random intervals before slowing again. Many scientists had believed that this was a by product of cosmic collisions, celestial entities slamming at thousand of light years’ speed into the black hole and making its size ‘jump’. However, recent studies show that, over the past 8 billion years, collisions of this type have no influence on the size of a black hole, or its rate of growth. Then how does the gravitational force of a black hole change? How can it go against all the laws of physics and change its rate of growth and shift in overall size. We haven’t the foggiest. We don’t know everything, we know almost nothing. The universe, my friends, is the greatest mystery.

Artist rendering of a black hole; if it was really this color, it would be called a ‘Trippy
Hole’.

In cycling news, Lance Armstrong says he is not concerned or bothered by the on-going federal investigation into his career. In an interview with the Sydney Morning Herald Lance says he has many concerns involving the future of the sport, but refused to speak at length on the US and Food and Drug Administration’s long investigation the United States Postal Service Cycling squad of the late ‘90s, Armstrong’s sponsor for six of his seven Tour de France wins.A grand jury in Los Angeles has been presented with evidence and testimonies for months after doper Floyd Landis presented a case against Armstrong. Armstrong’s final international cycling event will be in Australia’s Tour Down under this spring. Frankly, this is ruining the sport, especially in conjunction with Alberto Contador’s Case of the Tainted Spanish Beef still being deliberated in a Spanish court. The Bohunk smells something fishy in both situations…but that is relatively normal in cycling, unfortunately.

Lance Armstong vs Jan Ullrich: A battle for the ages. Both are suspected of being doped
to the gills throughout their Tour wins. (Ullrich won in 1997; Armstong 1999-2005)

Starbucks, the Best Smelling Store Around, changed it logo to celebrate its 40th anniversary, highlighting their traditional green siren but dropping the circle that heretofore surrounded her. People with nothing better to do commenced directly to bitching, saying it was dumb to remove the name of the company from the logo. Right, because no one knows who the Swish, Golden Arches or Eagle belong to…(Nike, McDonald’s and American Eagle, just in case) Obviously it is not a huge deal, and the Bohunk wonders if half the people complaining would have even noticed the difference if they weren’t told of it. You can decide for yourself, below.

The first three are obviously Starbucks cups, but the last one, I have no idea what it
is used for or what corporation to associate it with. If only it said what do to with it somewhere…

Rich Rodriguez was fired by the University of Michigan. Anyone want the job?

(Crickets)

In another contribution to World Going To Hell Via Hand Basket, a new edition of “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” will lack the word “nigger” and be replaced by the word “slave” which, in context, with neither make sense or illustrate the inhuman status African-Americans held during Twain’s time, an important lesson for youngsters to learn, appreciate and detest. All 219 uses of “nigger” are removed after Alan Gribben, a professor at Auburn University, said he felt uncomfortable saying the word aloud in class. The Bohunk kindly instructs him to grow up. The initial print of the sanitized version ran at 7,500 copies and should be finished by February. No schools have expressed interest in teaching with the new version. Kudos for taking the opportunity of the harsh, terrible language as a way to show the youth of America just how ugly man can be in the hopes of making a better society. Any high school student would argue that they hear worse language in the hallway at school on any given day than that found in “Huck Finn” or “Tom Sawyer” and a quick listen to rap music would show that 219 uses of the n-word would be the equivalent of two or three songs nowadays.

In the on-going check in on Haiti, which the Bohunk regrets has been lacking in recent weeks, we unfortunately find little positive. The new problem (as if existing ones were not completely and inhumanely sufficient) is rape. Amnesty International is reporting to news outlets that gangs of armed men are prowling the countryside and urban streets alike, attacking, molesting, raping and kidnapping women. The problem is especially rife in the squalid camps around Port-au-Prince, the nation’s beleaguered capital which has suffered from political strife, a massive earthquake and an outbreak of cholera, just to name the major plagues. Amnesty International claims that security in these refugee camps is completely invisible except near food drops, which, with tens of thousands of starving citizens close by, need constant guarding. The women have almost no protection; even in their dwellings, many are raped after men simply cut through the side of the tent with a knife or push the entire shack over. According to an official in Haiti, a Mr. Ducos, “most of these crimes go unpunished” because there is not enough police influence to track or prosecute a suspected rapist, even if he was seen in broad daylight by hundreds of people. Haiti is a terrible place for everyone, but the women and children of that country are experiencing a life that is riddled with loss, hate and misery. Be grateful for your own lot in this world, because you could be living in Haiti.

Sorry to end the Update on such a sour note. Quickly, note that the Schleck Brothers will be announcing their sponsor and kit this evening, 8 pm Paris time. The boys will finally have a name to the Best Team Ever Without A Name…Also, be sure to follow me on Twitter, @theflyingbohunk for quick Update access every morning and news throughout the day. Like what Snooki is up to…

Thanks for reading, enjoy NBC’s Thursday night line-up, it should be quite good. Chapeau!

Contador, Book of Year and the NFL Play-Offs…

Welcome back to the Update after a wonderful Christmas. With any luck, you received the gift of the season… Love. Not an iPad. Or a Mercedes. But those things were much more popular this year…

Some professional football players had great holidays. The Green Bowl Packers beat the New York G-Persons in embarrassing fashion, so far ahead by the fourth that the G-Persons couldn’t even collapse and cede 28 points in 8 minutes like last week. The NFC is clearing up, slowly, like the figure of a mysterious form emerging from some London fog. The Packers beat the Bears next week, and they are in the playoffs. The Eagles have essentially won the NFC with the G-Persons loss, though they will have to avoid a loss in their two remaining games, including the postponed tilt against the Minnesota Hyberboreans on Tuesday. The New Orleans Saints can clinch a playoff spot by beating the Falcons tonight, though the Dirty Birds are already decidedly 1) the best team in the NFC and 2) the winners of the NFC South.

The Return of Aaron Rodgers: Down with the G-Persons!

Over in the AFC, the Kansas City Chefs and the Baltimore Nevermores got in the playoffs yesterday while the Indy Young Horses (Young Studs, last year, merely horses after a mediocre season so far) won the AFC South in every aspect but the trophy yesterday whilst beating the Oakland Marauding Forcers. The Bolts are out of contention, but Phil Rivers’ adversary, Tom Brady is in. The Flying Elvii (named the Best Team In The NFL October 13th here on the Update) are in with home field advantage and free mochas from Starbucks, too.

In a short note, Mike Singletary has been fired by the Niners of San Francisco. Many fans noted he lacked the requisite flowers in his hair, and also performed poorly at the helm of the Bohunk’s sixth favorite team. The Niners are 5-10 this year, and were knocked from playoff hopes by the Rams yesterday. Singletary will return to his role of haunting retired quarterbacks around the country….

“I know I’ve mishandled by quarterbacks, defense and front office, but I’m wearing a cross
necklace, you can’t fire me!” said a dejected Mike Singletary…

Laurent Gbagbo, the entrenched and illegal President of the Ivory Coast, warns that any attempt to remove him from his role in government would certainly spark a deadly civil war. He claims he is the country’s true leader after quickly an election committee threw out thousands of votes for Gbagbo’s opponent, Allasane Ouattara last month. Both claimed the seat of power, but a loyal military force kept Gbagbo in office. International bodies like the UN and EU have voiced their desire for Gbagbo to step down, though none have gone as far as the contribute military backing. The supporters of each candidate are squared off and ready for war. A few hundred have already been killed in skirmishes. West African is pushing for the use of force to remove Gbagbo. More as this unfolds…

Julian Assange, the very Australian  and James-Bond-villain-looking founder of WikiLeaks, has announced that he will use the money from his book deal to pay for the costs of his legal defense. He will receive roughly $800,000 from the American publication and about the same from his British publisher, though it will gain more in serialization there. Very recently Assange remarked that WikiLeaks would not have the income to pay for site maintenance, legal suits and Assange’s personal lawsuit wherein he is charged with sexual assault. He may also be gearing up for an indictment by the US on terrorism and espionage charges. US diplomats have all been quick to throw around the “T-Word” with Assange, painting him in a more and exponentially increasing diabolic light. The Bohunk wonders if he could help figure out how to block spam, that’s really annoying…

To understand why people are so depressed in the world, the Bohunk throws up the following four headlines, then moves on in hopes of keeping his Dear Readers out of counseling…

“3 Dead in Afghan Car Bombing” ~ Voice of Amercia

“14 Children Killed in Chinese Road Accidents” ~ Voice of America

“At Least 7 Killed in Iraq Blast” ~ Voice of America

“Bus Crash Kills eight Americans in Egypt” ~ Fort Worth Star Telegram

President Obama is reportedly spending his holiday break “hanging ten” in Hawaii but also working to reconfigure is White House staff for 2011, and, perhaps more importantly, for 2012 and his re-election bid. Four or five changes have already been made, including bouncing Rahm Emmanual as Chief of Staff and replacing him with the gentlemanly reserved Peter Rouse. Obama has also voiced that intends to spend more time outside of the capital, leaving Washington to do some good ol’ fashioned politicking around the nation and giving his face and support to his causes. It will also serve as a long-term campaign platform to get his message out to voters well before 2012..Though New Hampshire has its first election meetings this July, over a year and a half from Election Day 2012. We have already suffered from Christmas Creep, and now, we have Election Creep with which to contend as well. Most of the candidates running in the primaries won’t even announce their intent to run until four or five months after the first New Hampshire election debates are held. Unless Sarah Palin announces early, argues against herself, loses, but wins by default….

Alberto Contador and the Case of the Tainted Spanish Beef will enter 2011 unsolved and on-going. No word out of the Spanish Federation on a Contador verdict yet, with Contador still suspended. The Two or Three time Tour de France champ tested positive July 21st for clenbuterol, and for the past four months has alternatively fought for his innocence and shrunk from the press altogether. He has been quoted as voicing his intention to retire if suspended, or racing all three Grand Tours in 2011 if he is not. He said he would not comment on accusations to the press until the case was resolved, only to comment the very next day. He is in his hometown of Pinto, Spain training and attended camp with his new Saxo-Bank Sungard squad with boss Bjarne Riis in the late fall. His old squad, Astana, signed Denis Menchov and fellow Bohunk Roman Kreiziger to replaced him and his Merry Band of Spanish Gypsies, like Navarro and Hernandez, who follow Contador about wherever he may roam. With any luck, this case will be resolved early in 2011…At least before Lance Armstrong’s final race at the Tour Down Under….

Two or three time champ Alberto Contador…Hence the thumb.

In other cycling news, Team RadioShack signed veteran and very Australian sprinter Robbie McEwen, a fixture in the pro peloton for the past ten years. A winner of the green jersey and many TdF stages, McEwen was left without a pro ride when Pegasus, an Australian project, did not receive a professional license from the UCI. Robbie McEwen and South African sprinter Robbie Hunter hopped alongside other very old cyclists Levi Leipheimer, Chris Horner, Lance Armstrong and others for the 2011 season. A special note: Robbie McEwen named his son, knowing how funny it sounds, Ewan. Ewan McEwen.

For the 2010 Book of the Year, the Bohunk broke it down into two categories, non-fiction and fiction, because, as we all know, one mustn’t compare apples with citrus fruit. The criteria was based on three components; Sales, reviews and topic. For example, the Bohunk looked at the ranking of the book, the reviews from different sites and the subject matter of Decision Points by George “Dubya” Bush and found it wanting in nearly every area, most pointedly, truth.

The non-fiction Book of the Year is The Warmth Of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America’s Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson. The Pulitzer-Prize winning Wilkerson put together one of the most well-written and accessible study of the migration of black citizens to the North over many years in the hopes of living a better life. Stories of individuals and the attitudes of a nation are discussed, and Wilkerson finds a perfect and respectful balance between the emotion and plight of the individual and sociological attitude and reaction of an entire culture. You can order it here from Barnes and Noble.

The fiction Book of the Year for 2010 is the hilarious Earth by Jon Stewart. The guise of a joking, almost sneering volume of Daily Show sarcasm does not cover up entirely the intelligence of the book itself. The premise is light; Stewart and his team made a book to tell aliens or the discoverers of the remains of the human race what humans were all about. Religion, politics, society and why it all is important….Nothing is left unscathed, and the faux-effort for explaining each is hilarious but reflective. It all conveniently fit into 256 pages and costs only $17 bucks on sale, here.

That’s it for the Bohunk, thanks for reading and please, be careful getting back into the grind this week….Ease back gingerly, and stretch. Nothing is so lingering an injury than a pulled groin.  

Sleep and Obesity, Rich Ginger, and Narnia…

Whew! With any luck, and a bit of bed rest, you’ve had time to recover from the excitement that was the ceremonial naming of Sportsperson of the Year…Relax, this time, nothing as colossal as that happens. But read anyway…

Time recently named Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg “Person of the Year” and received a lot more attention than the Bohunk with such an award. Zuckerberg created the largest social networking medium in the history of the world. Nearly 500 million people around the globe log in to update their status and stalk each other’s pictures, all on the most complex and integrated network on the face of the earth. Facebookers represent one-twelfth of the world population, and though one may not recognize it, Facebook is a world phenomena. If Facebook’s users were a country, it would be the third largest in the world, only behind China and India. And though users may not realize it, but 70% of Facebook users live outside the US. Zuckerberg definitely reaped the benefits of his network’s popularity; his estimated net worth is around $6.9 Billion (that’s a B, you’ll be sure to note) at the ripe old age of 26. Not bad for a guy with red hair and partial color blindness (he can see blue the best, which is why it’s Facebook’s dominant color) and a Harvard drop-out. Congrats on being named Person of the Year, Mark….Perhaps one day you’ll earn the more prestigious award of the same name given by the Bohunk….Don’t lose sleep waiting for it, either….

Creepy soulless ginger Mark Zuckerberg…

Techies who claim to know such things have stuck the proverbial fork in Microsoft for being almost completely absent in the tablet market. While Apple has hit it big with its iPad, and mobile phone manufacturers like Samsung have introduced their own tablets, none run using Microsoft operating systems and many have adopted the Android OS because Microsoft has no viable contribution to the emerging market. Intel is also lacking a platform for a tablet, though many claim that Microsoft’s failure is more alarming because the company had always been well ahead of the competition in anticipating market trends. With new tablets soon to emerge, including efforts by Google, Samsung, and a new iPad 2 by Apple, many manufacturers are making a second model before Microsoft has even made one platform. Some have claimed it will the end of Microsoft; the Bohunk says, “No, sir, not quite so very fast.” Microsoft is too smart and too big to go quietly. Tablets are still a relatively TINY market compared to notebooks, laptops and even desktops, and Microsoft still dominates in those areas.

Would you like to be a more attractive person? Two separate studies have contributed some obvious but reaffirming information. Young adults, ages 19-30, who are active and at a healthy weight level can avoid gaining the average weight gain of their mid to late 30’s by staying active and staying below obesity rates. The study showed that people who were obese as a young adult became morbidly obese in their thirties, while those at a healthy BMI (Body Mass Index) only gained negligible weight even into their forties. The study suggests that as little as 4% of obese people at the age of 25 will ever return to a healthy weight over the course of the rest of their life. In the second study, researchers found that people who get at least 8 hours of sleep and do so at regular intervals (go to bed and wake at roughly the same time) have a remarkably better look. The study followed young adults and also parents to monitor the effect their sleeping habits had on their appearance and personality. People who stayed up past 11 o’clock and slept in past 10 am were irritable, grouchy and looked like Hell, (trust me, those pictures were alarming) while those who slept regular hours, usually 10 pm to 8 am, looked better and had a more positive outlook. One researcher claimed regular sleeping patterns might even make a person age much more slowly. So the next time you pull an all-nighter, think, perhaps, of the future and GO TO BED!

Sofia Vergara: She must sleep constantly. Congrats on the Golden Globes
nomination, Fox.

A suicide bomber killed 39 worshippers in Iran yesterday at a mourning ceremony outside a mosque in southeastern Iran. The Iranian government quickly announced that it believes the US is responsible for the attack, citing the use of advanced techonolgy and intelligence. The mourning ceremony was in honor of the death of Imam Hussein, supposedly the descendent of the Muslim prophet Muhammad who lived in the 7th century. Most of the worshippers were Shiite, and no claims for responsibility for the attack have been heard, though many suspect that the large Sunni population in the area could also be suspected. The US government, at the time of my hitting “Publish” on this baby, had made no comment to confirm or deny their involvement in the incident.

For a quick review of the recently Bohunk-ed Candide by Voltaire, I offer this book as the best read ever in a span of 137 pages. The story of a young man, Candide, who by trial and strife is forced from his home and to cross the globe in search of his love. His teacher, the philosopher Pangloss, tells him that his home of Westphalia is “the best of all possible worlds.” Candide and Pangloss live by the mantra of “everything is for the best” though they are hanged, kicked from their country, whipped, flogged, abandoned, robbed, burned and beaten. Voltaire repeatedly mentions some of his own sneering critics in the book, labeling them liars and thieves. The adventures of Candide are hilarious and cruel and equally so. It is an absurdist work, and contrary to what many claim, it is not an examination of the origin of evil or the immorality of mankind. Instead, Voltaire looks at how the individual reacts to injustice; each character or member of Candide’s band has fair claim to being the most mistreated by the world, but Candide and Pangloss seem to bear all with a positive heart and learn to live life for the very admirable reason of living. You can get it at Barnes and Noble here.

 
Jesus, shoot, I mean Aslan, the most easily identifiable Christ allegory. 

The new Chronicles of Narnia flick is in theaters and is atop the Box Office earnings list. The Bohunk is quite interested in how many of the books will actually be made into the film. For those who have not finished all of the books, the series ends SPOILER ALERT DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE INTENTION OF READING THE BOOKS with all the children dying while battling an army of what C.S. Lewis allegorically represented extremists Islamic soldiers. Way back in the day, Lewis already was quite sure that Muslims would begin to start trouble in the new millennium. The dead kids are then brought to what Lewis presents as Heaven, which is a version of Narnia ruled over by Jesus, I mean Aslan. The king of the Muslims is also there, however, and Jesus, dang it, sorry, I mean Aslan, says that the Supreme Being doesn’t care what religion you follow as long as you have a true and noble heart. Can the American public accept this type of ending? They would never accept a Muslim in “Heaven” (ruled, again, by a talking lion) let alone all the hero children being slain in a violent but bloodless (look at their swords in the last two movies; no blood, even when they stab an enemy combatant) battle scene.

In the on-going case of Alberto Contador and the Tainted Spanish Beef case, WADA officials have leveled quite frankly that the minute amount of clenbuterol found in Contador’s positive test July 21st is enough to be banned and punished for. Any amount of the drug found is reason enough to suspend Contador, the two-or-three time champ of the Tour de France. Contador’s blood revealed just 50 picograms (that is less than ‘trace’ amounts in other blood tests) that would probably not been found in most laboratories in the world. That would be written numerically as 0.00000000050 grams. The WADA spokesperson charged with dealing with the Spanish Sports Agency in charge ruling on Contador’s case was quoted as saying, “Just because it’s small doesn’t mean it’s not doping.” Many experts believe Contador mistakenly used transfused blood that was contaminated during the Tour de Swiss. Plasticizers found in the blood sample also serve to confirm this suspicion. The Bohunk’s take: Congrats on your default 2010 win, Andy Schleck, and you won’t be race El Pistolero in the next two years….

Thanks for reading everyone, and sorry for the late post. Some serious technical difficulties. Enjoy Modern Family on ABC tonight!

Exorcism, Four Loko Fallout and No Tainted Spanish Meat….

Usually, the sentence “I don’t want to insult religion” is followed by a derogatory and inflammatory comment that insults religion. I’ll skip that (but see how I didn’t really skip that?). A recent article in THE New York Times (I have been told the capitalize the ‘T’, so I’m going to take that a step further) stated that, for Catholics, interest in the practice in of exorcism has risen. While only a few priests in the US are trained (or, more accurately, '”trained”) in the exorcism arts, they are being overwhelmed by calls and pleas from believers who think they are being possessed by the Devil. Exorcism is as old as the Christian religion itself; it is cited as one of the proofs of Jesus’ divinity, with stories of the Son of Man casting out demons from those stricken with disease or madness. Exorcism is even present in the guiding text of the Catholic faith (no, not the Bible, silly) the catechism, so to say it is an integral part of the Catholic religion is no exaggeration. In fact, the Bohunk believes the Vatican, mired in rumor and guilt over its sexual abuse cases, might even be stressing this aspect of the religion to show how it differs from more secular institutions, the point of it stating, “We are don’t mess with little boys, we deal with angels and demons.” One supposes that it matters not what one thinks; only what one fears. Faith is a powerful force against reason. This emphasis on exorcism is really unsurprising when you consider that 57% of grown US citizens believe in ghosts. Also not hard to see why we know have a Republican House of Reps….

“Be gone, ye tool of Satan…Seriously, Ted Nugent, leave”

If the power of Christ didn’t compel you thus far, this should: Experts in Afghanistan warn that the planned withdrawal of NATO troops in 2014 could result in '”eye-watering” violence. Architects of the proposed plan admit that the transition could be messy, and that pockets of “residual insurgency” (the REALLY pissed off folks) could continue for many years after foreign armies punch their ticket home. Just as the violence in Iraq has not abated with a lessened US presence, so will the Afghan turmoil persist long after we “Bring Our Boys Home”.

In base ball, (I tend to use its original spelling) the NL Cy Young went to Roy “Doc” Halladay. The Phillies ace won the award unanimously after a stellar season in which he tossed both a perfect game and a no-hitter. And that just may be the last baseball mention until next August….

In the ongoing Case of Alberto Contador and the Tainted Spanish Meat, authorities have found not even a little shred of evidence to support El Pistolero’s story that his positive test in the Tour de France was a result of ingesting tainted Spanish meat. WADA (World Anti-Doping Agency) tested and probed into the Spanish meat industry to find any cases of contamination from the drug clenbuterol, the drug Contador was found to have in his system during the last rest day of this past Tour de France. Alberto also was found to have trace levels of plasticizers in his blood, which could and, now almost certainly, indicate illegal blood transfusions. If convicted of treachery, and doping, Contador would serve a two year ban and be stripped of his TdF title, becoming the second to sully the name of cycling’s biggest prize after American Floyd Landis’ positive test in 2006.

Say it ain’t so, Alberto. And also, say you’ll give my your wheels…

On this very date in 1869, well, you already know what happened…No? Really? Not off the top of your head? The Suez Canal opened! That is all.

As evidence that the World Is Going To Hell Via A Hand-basket, I submit the following article. A Connecticut man convicted of manslaughter is suing the aggrieved parents of the 14 year old boy he struck and killed while cruising along at over 80 mph in a 45 mph zone. The Bohunk puts forth the following solution; put the bastard on a ten speed and, should he be able to evade the child’s parents armed with a car speeding at 80 mph on the open road, let him walk. However, in no case should his argument be heard in court.

After Michigan and other states passed bans of the popular caffeine and alcohol drink Four Loko, its manufacturers have announced plans to remove the caffeine, citing its commitment to “leaving in the good shit” to make the drink legal. Phusion Projects, Four Lokos’ owner, made the move after being handicapped by, you know, “regulations”. As covered in a previous Update (weeks before Grand Valley State’s newspaper, The Lanthorn, wrote about it) the drink combines a stimulant and depressant, which makes the consumer of the drinnk less aware of their intoxication. One side effect is that drunks are more willing to drive, though they are equally impaired as a person who drank scotch, whiskey or any other source of a-a-a-a-alcohol. Were you one of the sorority girls pissed by the pending ban? Watch this video, and learn a lesson. 

Thanks for reading, enjoy Modern Family tonight at 9 eastern on ABC. Two more days till the weekend, continue to work for it.

MSU/U of M Recap, Obama and an SS officer...

Turn up the Thermostat, Lucifer, the Lions won a game...

It is nearly election season and tensions among parties have become terse. Democrats, including Mr. Obama himself (or, Himself, if you're a TRUE liberal)has criticized Republican candidates for accepting funds for their campaigns from undisclosed sources. New legislation from the past year stimpulates that candidates who fund their own campaign and refuse any Federal or State aid need not reveal where their money comes from; fair enough, say most Republicans. However, these means big business and even foreign companies, or even governments, covertly, could fund and therefore influence these elections. While Democrats can offer no proof that these Republicans are accepting funds from foreign companies, and the Republicans denounce the claim, they have no need to admit the fact even if they did accept the cash. Our government is becoming less transparent, and as you see the actions of these candidates, remember to follow the money.

You may have noticed THE GREATEST GAME IN THE HISTORY OF SPORT as proclaimed by the Bohunk last week ended up a 34-17 drubbing, with MSU putting up 500 yards of offense. If you give up that kind of yardage (and I'm looking at you, Michigan only slightly defensive coordinator Gregg Williams) you will lose in the Big Ten. Michigan's defense was only arguably inconvenient,daintly offering light arm tackles and sauntering lazily after receivers down the field. Not to discredit MSU, but U of M's defense was almost non-existent. And Denard Robinson? Not a bad game, as some have said; over 200 yards passing and just under 100 rushing. If you have read this blo before, you will remember it being pointed out that Denard's most dangerous ally is, in fact, his dreadlocks. I will add that he is not even the most explosive rusher at his position. Denard has 8 rushing TD's averaging 29 yards per rush, while Nebraska's Taylor "Very Swift" Martinez has 12 rushing TD's averaging almost 35 yards per jaunt.

In cycling, Oscar Freire won the Paris-Tours, a fall Classic race of some fame and importance(trust me). With seven Spanish riders under "intense scrutiny" by their government and the UCI, cycling's governing body, Freire is a lonely example of a consistent rider who has never been implicated in a doping scandal. Unfortunately, Freire is considering retiring after the 2011 season when his current contract with Rabobank expires. It is somewhat similar situation than one faced in baseball; after the 1998 McGwire-Sosa season-long home run derby, steroid speculation grew. Ken Griffey, Jr., a top ten career home run leader was never once mentioned as allegations swept the majors, from Jose Conseco to Rafael Palmero and Alex Rodriquez. Freire symbolizes that same innocent figure, and is important to the image and integrity of the sport.

You know what is fun? Battle reenactments. Who doesn't love dressing up like a heroic figure from the past and pretending to kill some other middle-aged fogies that pride themselves on "dying" honorably, as if its significant practice for the real thing? But usually, dressing up as an SS footsoldier, once of the most feared instruments of death and terror by Nazi Germany during the second World War, does not go over well. And if you're an elected government official, say, a U.S. Congressmen, pictures of it might just look bad. But Republican Rich Lott of Ohio did not let that get in the way of a good time. Photos of the representative surfaced on the internet, and now even his Republican chums won't invite him to their fundraisers, which is the high school equavalent of not being asked to hang with your chums at the mall and check out the new Katherine Heigl flick. Absolutely crushing.

Have an excellent day, and tell your friends to check out the post. Thanks!