Friday, October 22, 2010

Whorrior of the Week, Sartre and Dusty Baker...

The #1 Oregon Ducks ended the streak of top teams falling by scoring many, many points more than UCLA could muster. 60-12 is no close game, and as BCS officials mull the inclusion of figure skating judges to assess "style points", big victories over conference opponents sparkle like a bedazzled unitard.

Brett Favre refused to comment on his meeting with NFL representatives about accusations about his inappropriate text messages with former Jets employee (and total babe)Jenn Sterger. He was asked three times about the meeting by reporters and what was discussed, to which he replied "These things will play out." Hasn't he learned anything from Alberto Contador? Deny, deny and deny. Blame someone or something else. Say that it was somebody else's tainted man meat in the photos. Say someone stole your phone. At least he is trying to let the story die down...This is better than saying he did do it, then he didn't do it, then he wasn't sure if he did it, until Ryan Longwell and some teammates fly to his locker tell him to shut up.

In Haiti, over 138 people are dead after an outbreak of cholera. The country, which is still reeling from a massive earthquake, decades of poverty and political strife, has taken steps to combat the disease from spreading. Will this garner any attention in the U.S? Probably not, as news channels have mid term elections to cover. Christine O'Donnell: Witch or No Witch will take up four or five hours of coverage in the U.S., but 138 dead will only be covered on the ticker. How quickly we lose interest.

In naval news, a U.K. nuclear class sub ran aground off of Scotland. The captain was quoted as saying, "Son of a bitch, I've scuffed the hull." While the Royal Navy points out the sub was not armed with any nuclear warheads, the potential disaster just off the coast would still be a public relations nightmare should any contamination have taken place due to a breached hull. This is what happens when the British learn naval tactics by watching repeats of the A&E hit series, "Horatio Hornblower".

Did you notice all that baseball still being played? It's the playoffs! The Yankees and Phillies, heavy favorites heading into the postseason, are both trying to come back from early series deficits to the Rangers and the Giants, respectively. Somewhere, Darth Vader is not pleased, as the Yankees struggle and the Evil Empire looks vulnerable. The Giants, in the NLCS, have squeezed out hits against the vaunted starters of the Phils, making Halladay and Hamels look frustrated and uncharacterstically out of sync. The Bohunks call? Giants in 7 and Rangers in 6...and you can take that to Subway.

On this day in 1964, Jean-Paul Sartre won the Nobel Prize for literature, only to decline the award, which was the most French thing he could think to do. Sartre, who popularized existentialism, did not explain his reasoning with the public, though many French citizens were outraged that he would not accept the honor. Sartre was supporter of Communism, a student of other French masters such as Baudelaire, and an excellent writer of both philisophial works and literature. The existentialism movement, which subscribed to the idea that man had to create meaning for his life because existence does not have some innate meaning itself, was a popular topic of philosophy for decades and still is the most famous theory of being from Europe still discussed by intellectuals.

Somewhere, Dusty Baker just woke up and realized the Reds were out of the playoffs...He stood, wiped the drool from his chin, and walked alone from the dugout, his heavy footsteps echoing forlornly in the emptied stadium.

It's Thursday, and that means its time for the Whorrior of the Week. This morning, we honor the skanky, tirelessly self-demeaning antics of Short-Skirt Peacoat. Yes, this blonde with particles of vomit and bottlecaps in her hair strode with the aching strides of the repeatedly pounded skank-tastic champion her father wishes she was not. In the frosty morning darkness, the wind whipped her peacoat open to reveal a long t-shirt stained with God-knows-whose wasted seed. You, Short-Skirt, deserve fully the title of Whorrior of the Week.

Thanks for a great week, tell your friends to read again on Monday. Enjoy "Pirates of the Carribean" tonight on ABC Family...

No comments:

Post a Comment