It’s 1/11/11 today, and I have no doubt that I was the one thousandth person to point that out to you today. Tell other people, as many as you can, even make it your Facebook status; we don’t want people to live uninformed that today is, in fact, 1/11/11. Moving on…
It was the BCS National Championship game, and though it pains the Bohunk’s very soul and beating heart, we shall discuss portions. The Auburn Tigers, led by dubious Cam “So Paid” Newton beat Oregon, My Oregon 22-19. Two amazing, prolific offenses and few points; don’t be surprised, these defenses had a month to prepare for the power of Auburn and speed of Oregon. Darren Thomas, the leader and quarterback for the Quack Attack, tossed two interceptions in the first half, an uncharacteristic performance. LeMichael James had just 49 yards rushing to Michael Dyer of Auburn’s 143. Oregon without the run isn’t Oregon; the play action passes didn’t freeze the defense, the zone reads and option plays were attacked without hesitation, and Thomas missed more than a few reads throughout the game. Enjoy all the hype and fame, Auburn, for it shall soon crash down upon you like the hand of God….As I highlight for all Justice Guided Peoples, the only picture I shall post from that terrible evening so close and hurtful in our minds is of the Oregon Amateur Cheer-Babes….
Go Ducks! Go Ducks! Ignore the disaster on the field and just Go Ducks!
While watching the game, the Bohunk could not believe the supporters of Auburn on social media. How, I wondered, could people root for someone they know tried to cheat, and in all likelihood is being paid for partaking in an amateur sport? A friend on Twitter commented “I wonder how much money Cam Newton will get for winning the National Championship?” Even the fact that he tried or is accepting money from Auburn is not enough. That is putting aside is known past; he was caught stealing computers while at the University of Florida, and he removed himself from that institution after being caught cheating in classes. His father shopped him around the SEC schools; to assume Cam Newton didn’t know is naïve and simple. Reggie Bush was guilty of accepting funds, a house and other privileges just a few months back, and he ‘didn’t know’, but he was declared ineligible and the wins taken away. How is Cam Newton’s situation any different? How do we know he did it? Last year, a week after Cam Newton signed to Auburn, his father Cecil Newton was driving a $72,000 Escalade. A week later still, and the pastor (yes, Cam’s dad is a man of the cloth BRIBING people and lying, Go Religion!) had enough funds to pay his local town board to remove the condemned ruling from his church and to begin repairs. Where did the money come from? You, my dear reader, tell me…
*Bonus photo. I refuse to post another picture of Cam Newton. Go Ducks! Again!
Rare but inspiring good news from Haiti, a very important recurring article in the Update. It has almost exactly a year since an earthquake ripped apart the capital, Port-au-Prince, and only roughly 5% of the rubble that chokes the city’s streets has been removed. Now, before the National Palace, or the Champs de Mars plaza in front of the Palace are repaired, workers are putting the finishing touches on the Marche en Fer is nearly returned to it former glory. The 19th century building was actually constructed in France and intended to serve as a railway station in Cairo, Egypt. For reasons unknown, it landed in Haiti in 1891 and server as “the economic and cultural fulcrum of the city,” according to Irishman Denis O’Brien, a man who has invest millions into the restoration. O’Brien owns a cellphone market that thrived in Haiti, and his money has been used to hire “hundreds of workers, import materials and not flinch too much at cost overruns.” According to The New York Times, O’Brien has even filed his Haitian taxes a year early to help fund humanitarian efforts in the country. All praise and “props”, as the kids would say, to Mr. O’Brien and his efforts on behalf of the Haitian people. It might just get him into the Bohunk Hall of Fame, one day…
Jared L. Loughner, the man who shot and killed six in Tucson last Saturday, will not contest his detainment and forego any bail hearings. He has not made a plea, guilty or innocent, and is now under the counseling of a specialist lawyer, Judy Clarke. Clarke is a capital-defense lawyer who has been successful in getting death penalties reduced to life in prison for some shady characters like Theodore J. Kasczynski, Eric Rudoplh and Susan Smith. (Unabomber, Atlanta Olympics bomber, and drowned her toddlers, respectively) Her motivations for defended this criminals is her loathing of the death penalty, not, she says, only from a political standpoint, but also in her experiences with clients. After the Smith case, she returned to the State of South Carolina all $82,000 they had paid her as a public defendant and returned home, saying that defending life over death was reward enough. Her family tried to instill her with independent thinking, and they together rallied and organized a campaign to unseat Jesse Helms, a Republican Senator in the 1990s. Their actions were sparked by a letter from Helms, one Great Big Asshole, that Judy’s brother Mark had “played Russian roulette in his sexual activity” after Mark died of AIDS at the young age of 31. More on the Loughner case as it comes…
In tech an business news, Verizon is set to unveil the iPhone in their stores this Tuesday. The problem, however, is that a massive percentage of those who would like an iPhone already have them and are under contract with AT&T. In fact, AT&T sold about 15 million iPhones last year, though Verizon will surely sell a few million this year as well. The two are already taking shots at each other, most notably pointing out that Verizon’s iPhones will be markedly slowly because of their data format. Apple is reaping the benefits of the competition, however; shares in the company are up to an all-time high of $342.45. Apple’s market value is estimated at $314 billion, only behind Exxon-Mobil as the US’s richest company. All of that doesn’t matter; people just want to check Facebook compulsively and play “Angry Birds”…Imagine the heartlessness of those pigs stealing the birds’ eggs! I’d launch myself into any wild construction of ice and wood to break those pigs, too!
The world’s oldest vineyard ever was found. As you may have guessed, the Bohunk is a classy, debonair type gent, and has been known to be a discerning wine critic after years of working at a respected vineyard on the beautiful Old Mission Peninsula, Chateau Chantal. (I mostly carried cases of wine from the cellar to the tasting room) So imagine my interest (piqued, imagine it piqued) when scientists claimed to have found a winemaking operation roughly 6,100 years old. This would date the site during the Late Chalcolithic Period, the same age wherein the wheel was invented and the horse was domesticated, some pretty important parts of human history. The wine stuffs were found in a cave in Armenia by American, Armenian and Irish archeologists just this past week. The site had jarred seeds of grapes and other plants which will be studied for their DNA and to determine many aspects of daily ancient life. Botanists even want to plant some and to see if they bud, and what sort of fruit they would produce. Pretty cool, huh?
Thanks for reading folks, more and better effort tomorrow, as always. With any luck, you will find the strength to move on from the Oregon, My Oregon loss…
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