Wednesday, December 1, 2010

SNOW!, LeQueen, and Gays with Machine Guns…

It is, in dear, sweet Allendale, the very first true snow. It brings good cheer, that happy sense of holiday season, some traffic issues, and the belief that every person is qualified to be a meteorologist. On every social network, exclamations of “Snow!” flood status updates, as if each person, shocked by what fell silently upon yonder window pane, must in turn warn other people (who, in nearly every case, have access to these same windows) that it is, indeed, snowing. Rarely does other weather make this type of buzz. One never finds an update of “Raining, also slightly windy” or “Just overall shitty out”, though the best faux-meteorologists still make that claim.

“No snow…No snow…SNOW! It’s fuckin’ snowing! Everyone look!”

As the snow beckons “Come hither” to the holiday season, two million Americans are losing their unemployment benefits. Merry F!@$@in’ Christmas, folks. Congress is fighting and bickering over a bill that will extend these benefits to a total of 99 weeks, but Republicans are blocking the measure, claiming that it was the duty of the Democrats to give enough time for the government to find some sort of compromise. The block only compromises the unemployed, who are already hurting after being out of work for months with little or no hope in sight. These two million Americans are struggling to pay their bills, feed themselves and their families, and are losing almost all hope of retirement later in life. But Republicans are taking advantage of them by grandstanding and forcing these benefits to retire. If this is how our government works, sacrificing the good of the People (damn right that’s capitalized) for the benefit of a political party, then we need take more responsibility for the selfish and greedy people we elect, and I’m looking directly at you Republican/Conservative/Right Wingers.

Nearly 15 years after its institution, the Bohunk safely predicts that ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ will be repealed. The recommendation submitted by the Pentagon this morning will, in the near future, assure that gays will be allowed to serve in the military. The Pentagon reported that it did not expect that the presence of gays in the military would not affect the “long-term effectiveness” of the US armed forces, and that the case should be allowed to be ruled on by the Supreme Court. The House of Reps. recently passed a bill that would repeal DADT, but the same motion was blocked by (you guessed it) a Republican fillibuster. A recent survey of military personnel found that 70% of soldiers, sailors and Marines did not think that enlisted gays would change or serve as a detriment to the armed forces. 7 out of 10 respondents said they believed that had already served with someone who was gay, and only 8% of that number believed the gay person had some negative impact on their unit (no pun intended, but it worked out great) which, the Bohunk believes, is no different than just having some jerk in your squad. About darn time. Gays have been subject to a legalized discrimination for decades in a way that would outrage other communities. For example, saying gay people can’t marry is the same as saying Catholics can’t, or even African-Americans; any time you set restrictions against a demographic, you take away their rights and endanger everyone else’s. Kudos, Pentagon, and it should be noted the Bohunk rarely: A) Kudoses anyone, especially B) the Pentagon.

“We’re here, we’re queer, and we have automatic weapons and greanades…
deal with it!”

In more WikiLeak news, US and UK diplomats were said to agree that the threat of Pakistan’s nuclear capabilities could easily lead to an all-out nuclear exchange with India, in addition to the possibility that the government could ‘leak’ nuclear fissile materials to terrorist groups for use against the West. Cables also revealed that the US has had special operations units in Pakistan for sometime now, contrary to reports by the Bush administration. Obama has kept them in place during his time in office. Also, a spat of tribal killings was committed by Pakistani troops, though they received no punishment and the US hid the information for its citizens. The US ambassador the Pakistan also reports that Pakistan sponsors four major militant groups, including the Taliban, and that millions of dollars of US aid meant to fight terrorism in Pakistan was not spent for that purpose, possibly even being funneled to the terror groups. So. Yeah, we are pretty much screwed around the globe.

In the ever-expanding world of eBooks, (the Bohunk has one now) Google is set to join the fray. To compete with eBook suppliers like Barnes and Nobles and Amazon, Google is ready to unveil Google Edition, which will offer readers books at  roughly 80% of the lowest list price. Google does not appear to have any interest in creating an eReader, however, like the Amazon Kindle or Barnes and Nobles’ Nook. The search engine giant will utilize the Web for its platform. Expect this to be, for a lack of a better term, quite huge.

In my 1% of postings contribution the the NBA, LeBron James returns to Cleveland tonight to face the team he abandon and the city he left to rot. Sign with a rival on a self-adulating, self-promoting TV spot, then make a series of commercials mocking the fans you outraged, and the Basket Ball gods will raise themselves to a fury. The result; the Heat are just 2 games over .500 and the whining and diva behavior is already rampant. They sit two games back in their division behind Chicago and Indiana. Root for the Land of the Cleves; LeBron deserves no adulation, for he gives enough to himself alone.

To be fair, Bambi is a very sad movie.

Finally, this Lions fan has some new. “Shotgun” Shaun Hill may be out for the season, leaving only Drew “Run for Your Life!” Stanton as the probable starter for the remainder of the season. The Lions activated Zac Robinson, a rookie acquired from Seattle earlier this month, to serve as the back-up. Does it matter? Well, no. The Lions’ season can only end as another bust. Detroit fans need stop considering a 2 win season an improvement and therefore satisfactory. Colts fans booed Peyton Manning and the Young Horses Sunday afternoon, and they were in the Super Bowl eight months ago. We should be outraged at this futility; but, like all loyal Lions fans, we have naïve optimism until half time, then fret until, as we knew they would, the Lions roll over.

Thanks for reading, email this to a friend who you want to like you better. Enjoy “Modern Family” this evening on ABC.

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