Friday, October 29, 2010

Nebraska, The Large People and Weekend Whorrior.....

It's Friday, and more importantly, it's the last Update before the Halloween weekend. Soon, we will be surrounded by the treats, tricks, costumes, and skeezes dressed like Lady Gaga. Judging from sources abound, the top Halloween costumes for this year, as reported earlier in the month on the Update, are Snooki and Lady Gaga for skanks and Dora the Explorer for kids. Perverts around the country anxiously await the pictures on Facebook of girls dressed in all three of these guises....

It's time, yes, you've been waiting I know, for the Weekend Whorrior! This week's prize goes to Tight Jeans McUggBoot, a obvious Freshman from Northville, MI. You can tell because the dear, sweet lass is still wearing her high school sweatshirt and matching sweatpants with "Stags" written boldly across the ass. Tight Jeans McUggBoots, now a stained, disillusioned girl who regrets every decision she made last night, even the ones she can't remember, will go on in a never-ending cycle of debauchery which will will not stop unless she "wants to." Congrats, McUggBoots!

The second game of the World Series gave us another Giants win, Giants win last night as the Large People stomped the Rangers, who, as you'll recall, were supposed to take the Series in 6 games according to nearly every baseball "expert" in the league. Teams that win the first two games of the Series go on to win 78% of the time.
This brings us to another good point. The Talking Heads of ESPN are notoriously bad at predictions; most analysts had either the Cowboys, Vikings, Saints and Packers in not only the playoffs, but vying for the NFC title and Super Bowl. These teams are a combined 11-15 and not one is on top of their division, though the Packers are tied at 4-3 with Da Bears. The average fans, you and me, my good chum, are just as proficient as the "experts"...

In cycling news, the Schleck brothers' "We-Swear-We-Have-A-Team, Honest" squad picked up some more firepower, adding ex-Saxo-Bank man Jakob Fuglsang, Very, very German rider Linus Gerdeman and the also German but somehow less-so Fabian Wegmann. The squad recently hailed the arrival of last year's World Champ and time trialist superhero Fabian Cancellara, workhorse Jens Voight and a host of other solid contributors, most coming from their old team Saxo-Bank. Bjarne Riis must be crapping himself; the team director lost most of his squad to the departing Schlecks and, trying to replace them, picked up the suspended and possibly banned Alberto Contador and half of his old Astana team. Without Alberto, those guys are essentially climbers with no chance at the Classics that made Saxo so successful in years past outside the Tour....

Tomorrow is the Haunted Halloween Challenge, a cyclocross race I will be trying for the very first time. I am not so strong at hopping off my bike and carrying it; apparently that is a massive part of this race. Joining me will be my Dad, and no one else. Seriously. As of last this morning, there was not another soul registered for the Group B race. If that is the case, it will allow my our costumes to really work. I am going as Lance Armstrong and he will be Levi Leipheimer. Getting those RadioShack kits really paid off....

That's all from me, I'm off to ride! Enjoy your Halloween and be safe; check your candy and make sure you're not eating Swedish Fish. Those are gross. Enojoy Nebraska vs. Missouri tomorrow at 3.30 on ABC

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