Scientists in Tel Aviv have discovered how to measure the intelligence of bacteria. A similar team in the US is working on similar tests for George W. Bush. The microbiologists, however, are successfully measuring the social and communicative abilities of bacteria in an effort to develop ways of manipulating the little rascals into helping fight disease, work in agriculture and many other areas. First, scientists have proven some theories that have long been held on the intelligence of bacteria. The Bohunk cautions the reader; do not confuse intelligence of bacteria to the intelligence of man. In the situation, the intelligence is really the ability to adapt to changes in their environment and utilize new or altered sources of nutrition. The proof is in the rotting pudding; bacteria is one of the top three causes of death in Western hospitals. Their ability to change and communicate resistant traits among types of bacteria is the reason even the most modern antibiotics become obsolete with repeated use. Second, scientists have found that there are varying levels of intelligence and social contact. Most bacteria make up what scientist call the 'average' intelligence, an amount that actually encompasses roughly 60% of known types of bacterium. The top 20%, however, is comprised of highly advanced Vortex bacteria which, if it could be translated to a human IQ, would score higher than the average human IQ of 100. This genius bacteria, if understood and manipulated, could be used in soils, medicines and a range of other products to make us safer and healthier.