Thursday, January 13, 2011

Denard Robinson: Transfer?, Mudslides, and Mormons…

Welcome to Thursday, and folks, it’s all down hill from here…Let’s just get started…

In the thundering emptiness that once was the Metropolis of Detroit, a serial rapist runs rampant (two points for alliteration) stalking women and forcing them at gunpoint into his car, taking them elsewhere to rape them. The targeted women are usually walking alone late and night or early in the morning when they are accosted, easy prey for sick SOBs like this guy. Some women were actually driving when the man stopped them at gunpoint and demanded they get out of their vehicle or be shot. Police have declined to announce how many women have come forward but the number is substantial enough to warrant a concentrated effort by the Detroit police (who usual lack effort of any kind, especially the concentrated sort) to find the man. Witnesses say he is late thirties, African-American and very thin with a mustache. So, for your safety, don’t walk around Detroit. Period.

Authorities compiled this sketch of the man. Looks a lot like
Antonio Cromartie, if you ask me….

Massive floods and mudslides claimed at least 270 people in Brazil yesterday after torrential rains and over flowing rivers and streams caused massive chucks of earth to dislodge from mountainsides. Over 250 were killed outside of Rio de Janeiro and 13 more outside of Sao Paolo. As much rain as Brazil averages in a month fell in just twenty four hours, breaking apart hills and over flowing the banks of nearly every body of water in the region. At least 60 are still missing, and the death toll is continuing to rise. Rescuers are focusing on locating and helping stranded survivors in the region before any attempt at retrieving bodies is attempted. Your thoughts are appreciated, and much more on this as news spreads. Same goes for the Australians suffering under floods around Brisbane, where many are dead and rescuers are still trying to locate the roughly 90 or so people still unaccounted for in the region….

Riots and protests (the Bohunk includes both, for it depends on your viewpoint; I prefer protests cause I prefer freedom) are raging in Tunisia, especially in the uninspired-named capital of Tunis. Lopping off the last part of your country’s name to name the capital is just lazy. Maybe that is why, in some small part, thousands are protesting against the Arab government in the country, similar to the protests in Sudan. Even the US is critical of the lack of freedom found in Tunisia, a very rare critique of the Arab-yet-pro-America government. It said that its attempted control of media, especially the Internet, endangers the freedoms of its citizens and the benefits of the Internet as a whole. Tunisian protesters have layered Tunis with spray painted “Freedom From 404”, a tagline playing on the 404, File Not Found response triggered by blocked or restricted sites. Bloggers and Internet journalists are piling on the Freedom Freeway, railing against the Tunisian government and have reposted images and videos from the protests, including the bodies of men shot and killed during protests just this very morning. Freedom, my friends, is not free; we need to hold it at all costs. More power to the Tunisian people, and we can only hope that they can find a more peaceful way of gaining their freedom of speech and expression…

Here are some depressing headlines I would include in the Update, but have chosen not to in order to prevent depression:

~Train shooting adds to Christian fears in Egypt
~Flood affects 1 million in Sri Lanka
~Mexico’s Grim Toll of Death In Drug War Hits New High

If you like the Mormons, and I know you don’t, today is the day they really got it started. In the wake of the Panic of 1837, Joseph Smith, yes, that Joseph Smith, led his little band of Latter Day Saints out of Ohio…fleeing from arrest. Smith claimed in 1823 that an angel visited him and told he was a prophet. In 1827, he happened upon some gold tablets (way cooler than Moses’ stone tablets, but not as cool as the Android Tablets) which he claimed was a new gospel. He released 5,000 copies of “The Book of Mormon”, outraging nearly everyone. Americans, historical easy to fool in religious matters (yep, looking right at you, Ghost of Billy Graham) and many flocked to the radical new make-believe story. After being driven out of New York, Ohio and Missouri, the Mormons ended up in Utah, though after Joseph Smith’s death. For an excellent look at the sheer balls of the man Smith, and of the incredible and literally unbelievable tale of the origin of a still thriving religion, check out Jon Krakauer’s “Under The Banner of Heaven”.

Denard Robinson takes flight; hopefully, he doth not fly too close to the sun…of Florida.

Quite quickly, the Bohunk’s Most Exciting Person of College Football, Denard Robinson, appears to be returning to the University of Michigan after his coach, Rich Rodriguez, was fired and then replaced by San Diego State coach Brady Hoke. Some speculated that the extremely gifted athlete would bolt to either Florida of the University of Central Florida if Rodriguez was fired, but the Dreadlocked Dodger says he would much prefer to stay in Ann Arbor. The new offensive coordinator, Al Borges, is reportedly very capable of adapting a spread offense to fit Robinson’s skillset, and that a meeting this morning between Robinson and Hoke would go a long way in determining Robinson’s future. The Bohunk thought RichRod should have been given one more year on the condition that he fired everyone even remotely related to the defensive side of the ball. Michigan’s defense, as the Bohonk has carefully and repeatedly noted, was just inconvenient to opposing offenses. They made scoring easy, and teams like Mississippi State hardly broke a bead while gallivanting up and down the field. But with Hoke, Michigan faces another 3 years of adjustment and tough times. And now, they have to play Nebraska….

A future Christmas celebration in Wisconsin…But remember, this
would be a bad thing environmentally…Don’t start trying to raise
the world’s temperature.

You should care about the environment. It is all around you and those you care about, and driving your Escalade to the river to dump out your used oil is no way to treat the most enveloping aspect of the nature world; again, it is all around all of us. Those who don’t believe in global warming, or, as it is more commonly and accurately known now, climate change, are flatly ignorant. And despite our knowledge of its effects, causes and potential consequences, the Global Community (that’s all of us, man) have failed to make any significant commitment to the future of our only planet. 2010 was the warmest year on record at 58.12 degrees on average, which is 1.12 degrees above the established average of the twentieth century. The idiot (or Republican) out there will say, “Yes, but that is but one degree! I shall retain my 12-cylinder Lamborghini!” The Bohunk will point out that, a few hundred years ago, the planet’s average temperature rose one degree after massive amounts of volcanic ash caused widespread greenhouse gases and heat retention. The result? It reversed a millions-of-years-old ice age, melting most glaciers, even one in North America that stretched from Hudson’s Bay in Canada, west to the Rockies, east to New York and south to Iowa…and was three miles thick. The world, as they say, has never been the same. And the change of temperature in that cause took a thousand years, not one hundred, which is essentially the 20th century till today. Can the earth shrug off out impact? Yes, absolutely. But it might shrug us off in the process, even if we survive wars over resources and water. 

Thanks for reading, see you again tomorrow for Foxy Friday, which might just feature the Oregon Ducks’ cheerleaders again, just for fun. Chapeau! 

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