Thursday, November 18, 2010

5 Dumb Things Americans Believe, Tweeting Tiger and Palin…

Haven’t read Sarah Palin’s new book, “America By Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag” yet, have you? Well, good. But there are some enlightening words from the former Alaskan governor, but not on topics of any real importance. The new book, which will not be officially released until next week, had several pages leaked to the blog Palingates just yesterday. These pages heavily criticized Levi Johnston, father of Palin’s new grandson son, the horribly named Tripp. After Palin was selected to run with Sen. John McCain in 2008, Johnston toured the country, sharply criticizing and poking fun at the Palins. You know, just like everyone else in America. (I do not see any mention of Tina Fey, to note) Palin also made fun of Fox’s “American Idol”, calling its contestants “talent deprived” and said they suffered from “the cult of self-esteem”….though her very own daughter, Bristol, was recently featured on ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars”. The younger Palin is consistently on the bottom of the leaderboard, and was invited to the show because of her mother’s celebrity. Perhaps, and this is just a thought, Sarah Palin should be more careful when bandying about the term “talentless".”

If you have a Twitter, as the Bohunk does, you must have noticed Tiger Woods yesterday. Within six hours, the golfing superstar (and adulterer, too) had over 150,000 followers, or, to put it in perspective, 149,960 more followers than the Bohunk has. It is all a part of a campaign to repair Tiger’s image (and probably pick up skanky stripper-chicks) as the one-year anniversary of his Thanksgiving evening car accident that destroyed both his Cadillac and his marriage nears. Woods recently contributed a piece to the struggling periodical Newsweek and is slated to join Mike and Mike on ESPN Radio today as well. The real surprise behind all of this is the reaction of the American public; we love the guy. While he shall never regain Gentlemen status on the Update again, overall, most people have moved past the infidelity and overall creepiness of his affairs. Just goes to show, celebrity gets you everywhere.

That’s Elin, the wife he cheated on. What an idiot.

To contribute to the once-a-fort-night-coverage of the NBA, the Lakers visited the Palace of Auburn Hills to play the Detroit Pistons last evening. The struggling Pistions, who have floundered since dealing away Chauncey Billups, Rip Hamilton and the players that made them a perennial championship threat, now are simply embarrassing. In the stands last night, there were easily as many gold-and-purple jerseys for the Lakers than red-and-blue for the home team Pistons. In fact, late in the game, the HOME FANS began chanting “M-V-P, M-V-P” as Kobe Bryant took some free throws. First off; not very creative. Secondly, when your fans start cheering for the other squad, something is very wrong. The finger points to Pistons coach John Kuester, who called the chanting, “disappointing.” Players on the bench ignore Kuester openly, not looking at him while he talks and, at times, walking out of the huddle while he draws up plays. It’s time to cut him loose…But unload some players, as well. The culture on the team is spoilt like a carelessly uncorked Pinot Gris. 

Americans believe in some pretty dumb things. For example, the Update yesterday noted that 57% of Americans believe in ghosts. Some new poll results further this embarrassment.

~The majority of Americans who voted for a GOP candidate believe that President Obama has raised their taxes, when in reality, the President has lowered their taxes over the past two years. Thanks, Rush Limbaugh, for spreading this lie.

~Over half of the newly elected Congresspersons do not believe in global warming. These are affluent, well-educated and informed human ‘beans’ who do not believe in a phenomena that is scientifically confirmed. Every expert on the planet now subscribes to this fact. Yet, over half of the new Congress will think it a hoax. (Refer again, if you will, to that very telling 57% from the top of this section)

~Nearly one-fifth of Americans believe President Barack Obama is a Muslim. Get your head out of your posterior, Jethro; he isn’t, and even if he were, this is the US. We separate our church and state, or, at least we try to keep the Christian right from changing that.

~In a related number, two out of five Americans think teachers should be able to lead prayers in classrooms, in spite of the aforementioned separation of church and state. They have no problem letting Billy pray to their own god in school, but what if they prayed to a Muslim or Jewish god? Oh, then they pissed.

~Perhaps the most damning indictment of the Fall of American Power is that, in 2002 (not 1802, but 2002)  20% of Americans believed the sun rotated around the earth.

The Copernican Heliocentric Model, from the
16th century…Just in case you were in that 20%.

The Westboro Baptist Church, now infamous around the nation for travelling to areas and spouting their version of the gospel, will be on the grounds of East Lansing High School. The group is a strict Christian sect (people get so uncomfortable when their religion is called a sect) that has vocally advocated a burning hatred for gays, blacks, Mexicans, professional women and, in their own words here, “unnecessary equality”. Because apparently at some point equality is just too much. The church followers will protest gays and blacks in East Lansing; the group drove an hour and a half to protest other people in a different town. This is a group that thrives on hate; as The Lansing State Journal says, “Hate is their religion.” The Evil Bastards protesting in East Lansing today are a part of the same group that have gained notoriety by protesting at the funerals of slain servicemen and women. Here’s a good article on a town that fought back. 

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Tune into the Best Evening of Television Around, NBC starting at 8. Have a great Thursday, and check out Foxy Friday tomorrow morning.

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