Fore, Poor Folk!: Boehner vs. Obama In the Whitest Sport Not On Ice

In his commitment to bipartisan dealing and a mutual feeling of respect, Rep. John Boehner has challenged, er, offered to share a round of golf with President Barack Obama. But the House Crier (Speaker) had to add a jibe in there, because, if he didn’t, he may lose his reputation as Top Republican Ass Hole. Boehner said he would “have to give <Obama> a few strokes” if they were to play. To be fair, this is very true. Boehner, (your paid representative Ohio) played 18 holes roughly 120 times last year; Obama played approximately half that. David Axelrod, advisor to Obama, said the match-up could take place, serving as a way to get Boehner to engage in talks, potentially even on the debt ceiling, healthcare reform and other issues. The Bohunk offers this scenario; one round of golf, a one-on-one basketball game (Obama would kill Boehner) with both competitions aired nationally. Everyone would nap through the golf game, then shout and holler like a Rucker Park And1 special while Obama dunked of John till he cried. Wouldn’t you tune in to see that?

An ad from the campaign trail…And this asshole won…

Sudanese Referendum: A True Landslide

The votes are in and one-sided; with 99.57% of the vote, South Sudan will secede as an entity of Sudan and seek to establish its own government. Of the ten southern states, six reported 99.9% in favor of the secession, while the closest state of the voting territory registered at a hesitant 95% for secession. In what is being jubilantly hailed as a massive landslide (and at 99.57%, yes, it is a landslide) the South of Sudan will look to become an independent state. The results come as waves of low-wage earning southern Sudanese return to the south after moving north looking for work. Much of the oil of the country is drilled and refined in the north, leaving the south on uncertain ground economically. Over 190,000 people have returned to the south, with another 100,000 expected to make the trip in the coming year. They return to a very uncertain future. The moment it is recognized as a nation, it will be one of the poorest countries in the world and its relations with the north will in all likelihood dictate its initial strides in economic, governmental and social demeanor as it establishes its identity in front of the world. As riots and violence and revolution rock Tunisia and Egypt, Sudan is a peaceful revolution and secession and is a testament to the powers of diplomacy. And for the US, please avoid the term 'landslide' in the foreseeable future, unless a politician wins by 99%.

Jail-Break: Egypt

Riots in prisons in Egypt have left dozens dead as Army and security forces try to quell escaped prisoners. Outside the capital of Cairo, police and military forces are spraying machine gun fire and marching into crowds with bayonets fixed, reporters say. Bodies are strewn about the streets and sidewalks leading up to the prison. Thousands of convicts within the prison are flocking from the fences and walls, making a run for it amid the chaos enveloping the nation as it rallies for democracy and change.

Protestors in Cairo rally for their freedom and to depose of Mubarack.

The detained prisoners and their families have long cried foul of torture tactics and inhumane treatment within the Egyptian penal system, and as tensions and protests rose, more and more political inmates were abused or even killed outright. Now, as protests and marches dominate the country and the capital in particular, the inmates and convicts are roaming the grounds and working on mass exits from the prison as guards flee for their lives, many joining the protests themselves.

Muslim Brotherhood leaders, some only recently detained, claim to have walked from the prison without resistance, saying nearby residents and neighbors came and freed them. At least 34 Muslim Brotherhood members are out of prison and returning to support their organization and the protests for freedom. The group, among many others, has called for embattled President Mubarack to leave the government today or face dire consequences.