Cromartie, Poe, Droopy Dog and the Pasta Investigation…

It is Wednesday, verily, the day of the hump and also of the “Modern Family” at 9, 8 Central. Fight the doldrums until then, and the week will be over before you know…In 48 hours or so.

Reports are that Senator Joe Lieberman (gasps) will not run for President in 2012 (awwwwww) according to members of his staff and certain close aides. The 68 year old senator from Connecticut will announce the decision later in the week or by the end of this month, much to the relief of almost no political rivals. The move benefits Democrats chiefly, at least in the minds of several political pundits. Lieberman spent most of his career as an important figure in the Democratic Party, though has spent the last four years in a creepy ex-boyfriend who has slept around with your enemy stigma attached. Lieberman jumped ship, if you will, ahead of the 2008 Presidential campaign, backing John McCain instead of Barack Obama. He will retire from public service when his current term concludes in two years, quietly bowing from the spotlight and enjoying time with his friends and family. Until then, however, Joe will have to skate the slippery slope between a drastically and violently divided Senate, even in the wake of the supposed ‘peace’ of the Tucson shootings.

Joe Lieberman.

A massive 7.2 earthquake rocked a sparsely populated area of Pakistan today, roughly 200 miles from the closest urban center but strong enough to take a few casualties even in the remote regions of the Pakistani desert. Final reports from the closest cities are not finalized or confirmed, but only one woman was said to have died of a heart attack triggered by the quake. A 7.2 earthquake is massive, similar in strength to the one that triggered the tsunami in the Indian ocean five years ago. An added danger in the region is the poor construction of homes; most structures are made or mud-brick and wood and fail almost immediately during a heavy quake. More on this is it is necessary….

Following up on a religion vs. science story from a month back, the University of Kentucky was forced to pay $125,000 to an astronomy professor who recently brought charges of discrimination against the school after being turned down for a job. To be fair, $125,000 is probably what Kentucky spends on a single basketball recruit each summer, but this is harder to swallow because it won’t translate into PPG. The snubbed professor, C. Martin Gaskell, says he was denied a job with the University because he hinted a belief “something close to a creationist” and “potentially evangelical” in e-mails that circulated within the schools department. To note, however, allowing a person whose research and observations are clouded by religion certainly has an impact on how that professor looks at science. To be fair, however, the University of Kentucky failed to handle the situation properly, which, as we all know, is to deny, deny, deny and then counter-sue.

In another twist in the on-going Pasta Investigation of Lance Armstrong (throw everything at him and see what sticks) reports surfaced of more allegations indicating that Armstrong encouraged and even required EPO use on his Motorola team in the 90s. An unnamed teammate from the ‘95 squad said that Armstrong was the “instigator” of doping on the squad, even instructing teammates on how to use EPO and, more importantly, how to hide it. This is not news, however, the Bohunk finds the recurrent claims of the same charges intriguing…Why repeat the same accusations for almost a year? If there is so much evidence, why can’t anyone present tangible evidence of guilt besides nameless teammates casting blame? Even the FBI admits that it has conducted little to no investigative activity in the past three months, showing that they really have nothing to add to the case. Innocent, innocent, innocent…until factually and indisputably proven guilty by hard evidence.

Lance Armstrong as a Motorola rider and World Champion…before the cancer, the Tours and the allegations….

On this very day in 1809, the dark and mysterious and macabre Edgar Allen Poe was born. After being raised by his godfather, John Allan, Poe wrote three volumes of poetry to almost no acclaim or attention. He took a job as an editor of the Southern Literary Messenger in Richmond, Virginia and married his 13 year old cousin, which, though teachers tell you wasn’t uncommon at the time, was, in fact, a touch odd, even by the standards of the day. He drank heavily and lost his job, forcing a move north to Philadelphia where he kept busy with his hands in a few publications as an editor and a critic. His most famous works, including The Tell-Tale Heart, The Murders At the Rue Morgue and The Fall of the House of Usher all were written during this period, which was actually one of the most tranquil and relatively peaceful of Poe’s life. The stories themselves, however, did not reflect stability; they were odd, dark, horrific and dabbled in mystery, giving Poe the title of the father of the detective story. The Poes moved once more to New York City, where Poe penned "The Raven” his most famous poem. His wife died in 1847, driving Poe to even more voluminous drinking, eventually stumbling into a gutter drunk and dying somewhere in Baltimore in 1849. Poe was forty years old. 

The Bohunk casually and without much concern put forth his AFC Championship prediction, in two parts. A) I don’t care, I think both clubs, Thieves and Aeronautical Studies, alike in a uniform thuggery and criminal mind. There are more fines and arrests between these two teams to equal all of the other teams in the NFL. How can anyone root for them? B) That said, I’ll take the Steelers over the Jets by the simple reasoning of choosing, however reluctantly, the lesser of two great evils. It should be a close contest, if it does not devolve into fisticuffs after James Harrison spears Sanchez and Antonio Cromartie leads his Army of Children into battle (though he doesn’t know any of their names) in retaliation.

Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie and two Baby-Mamas-To-Be…

A short and not so sweet Update today, though my apologies must be accepted due to impossible circumstances; I have a lot of homework and little sleep. Thanks for reading, folks, and enjoy your day in spite of all things and people…

Carbolic Acid, Apple, Sarah-cuda and TDU…

It’s Tuesday and the Bohunk is struggling to return to the monotony that is college. And the headlines are as depressing as the twelve page research paper on Catholic and Protestant relations during the various witch trials of the sixteenth century. Yet, the Bohunk perseveres through all calamity…

In business news, Apple’s Messiah Steve Jobs (who doubles as a CEO) is taking a leave of absence from the company and day-to-day operations. Shares for Apple dropped 4.7% overnight, representing roughly $15 billion in market value. Jobs took a leave for medical reasons in early 2009 to receive a liver transplant and in 2004 to deal with and combat pancreatic cancer. Experts say there is no material reason to say that Jobs’ absence will in any way affect Apple as a corporation, but agree that, as the face of one of the richest and most successful companies in the world, is presence is very valuable as well. Just last week, if loyal readers will recall, Apple hit its highest ever trading price at almost $350 per share. Even at a loss of 4.4%, long term investors are okay; the company’s share quadrupled from 2009 to the present. They should be doing okay financially. All the best to Steve on his leave and the best of health, as well.

“Go purchase some Apple stock; I ain’t dead yet m@(#%*#.” ~Steve Jobs

For a week or so after the shooting of Rep. Giffords, the Republicans kept their collective mouth close; they appeared at the sight of the shootings, and stood behind the President (to stay in camera frame) when Obama made his speech on the violence in Tucson. They promised bipartisanship, and peace, and for the rhetoric to stop…Until today. Apparently, the Republican pledge to deal peacefully with Democrats lasts shorter than the media cycle. Republicans are back at it, challenging health care law that would, even in its barest forms, cover an addition 15 million poverty-stricken Americans. But Lord knows we wouldn’t want that. The Oily-Phants are now making recommendations on the plan that would reduce the number of Americans covered to less than 7 million by some measures, lowering the cost, sure, but completely missing the point of the bill in the first place. The health care bill was drawn as a way to cover all Americans, not a just enough to get some press and disappoint millions who did not end up with coverage. The need for discussion is not lost on the Bohunk; only the motivation for Republicans to deny 15 million of the most needy and vulnerable fellow citizens in the country the right to see a doctor and to receive treatment. If you can explain it to me, please do so in the Comments section…Peacefully….

A suicide bomber in Iraq killed 52 police recruits in Tikrit yesterday. As US and other international forces prepare to leave en masse this year, the myriad short comings of the Iraqi security forces are being found out. Recruits were waiting in line to the police station when the explosion rocked the building and all those around it. 52 died and over 150 are being treated for several types of injuries. This comes just a few months after a similar attack at a police recruitment center killed 61 and left over 125 wounded. When Iraqi security forces cannot even protect themselves while in their own bases and within their own compounds, the US must worry that all the work and sacrifice contributed could evaporate rather quickly….

Sarah Palin, that ever-ignorant Mama Grizzly, has vowed not to “shut-up” in the light of civil, bipartisan talks that, heretofore had been thriving. She quoted Scripture and Martin Luther King, Jr. while on a Fox News show, saying that Jesus and MLK were similar in their life experiences. She did not have the intelligence to say how, but that they were. She remained non-committal on running for President in 2012, to which the Bohunk is disappointed. Go for it Sarrah-cuda! Obama on his worst day, and in French, could beat you in a debate. Please, chick, bring it on…For you are not a lady….

Stage One of the Santos Tour Down Under in Australia is in the books with HTC-Columbia’s Matt Goss taking the win. Goss nipped Andre Greipel and very Australian Robbie McEwan for the win on the line, with many eyes looking around at the notable absence of Mark Cavendish near the finish. McEwan suffered a crash a few kilometers before the finish and was pulled back into contention by the powerhouse that is the South African Robbie Hunter, another recent pick up by Team RadioShack. The second stage is today and roughly 100 miles long in beautiful weather and sunshine. More tomorrow, and the Bohunk warns, look for a move by Lance Armstrong; as he said last week, he is not in Australia to “pedal around in the peloton.”

Matty Goss takes in on the line…But where’s Cavendish?

Astronomers are tossed their telescopes to the turf and picking up a element in order to study the universe. The telescopes are, in reality, safe, but there has been a rush to study in greater depth the importance of carbon, not only on earth but its role in the universe as well. As one of relatively few chemically stable possible solutes, carbon has some of the basic traits that make it a viable source of life, namely, consistency and structural integrity regardless of environmental changes in temperature, pressure and levels of acidity. Though DNA is the foundation of life, its inner workings, or its chemical reactions and processes, are built upon the stability of carbolic acids at a micro-micro-microscopic level. While small scale biochemical reactions can result without carbon, they cannot build larger bodies, such as bacterium, cats, Natalie Portman, whales, or Rosie' O’Donnell (and yes, in that EXACT order) that we consider significant or substantial life. Carbon has a versatility that is unrivaled by other elemental compounds, even by those that are more popular. For example, silicon is roughly 900 times more abundant than carbon, but is involved in a paltry number of meaningful chemical reactions important to creating and maintaining life. The only other element that seems to have had any potential at the early stages of life on earth was boron, an element that is rare on earth, but even more rare throughout the universe. There is not enough known boron to have meaningful chemical reactions on any scale, let alone the scale of life. What does this mean? The universe somehow provided earth with exactly the right stuff at the exact right time with the exact chemical properties needed to being the process of life. It all had to happen and it all did. Why? For what reason? We don’t know everything, we know almost nothing. The universe, my friends, is the greatest mystery.

Thank goodness for carbon…

Thanks for reading folks, more effort tomorrow and, of course, much more fun. Enjoy your day!

NFL Play-offs, Cheer-Babe Professionalism, and the Tunisian Devil…

Back to the start, Monday to Friday, and folks, it will not stop so neither should you. Carry hope in thy heart and the weight of the world on your shoulders, as no one else but you can live your life. Enough cheesy crap, let’s dig deeper into this burrito and get to the meat of it…

This weekend saw some excellent professional football play offs, first with the Pittsburgh Steelers (quarterbacked by a rapist) against the Baltimore Nevermores (linebacked by a murderer) beginning the festivities. The Bohunk is not much of a supporter of either team; in fact, I flipped a coin to decide who to pick as a winner because I didn’t want any reason to really cheer for either squad. In one of the ugliest games, with late hits, trash talking and rather embarrassing post-play theatrics, including a fifteen second Hines Ward display of crossed arms that I grew a touch nauseous, neither team acted like a Super Bowl squad. For the Steelers, that is puzzling; most of the team has two rings. But they played down to Baltimore most of the first half, trailing 21-7. Cory Redding, a defensive end for the Nevermores, scooped up a fumble that lay untouched and unnoticed for some time, and sauntered into the end zone, flanked by some teammates, without the Steelers ever taking notice. Aside from that, Ray Rice, the Ravens running back, was invisible except for a fumble. Flacco, the quarterback of the Ravens, one the Bohunk believes is over-hyped, choked. He took bad sacks, ran out of bounds for a loss of four when he could have tossed it away, and barely got off passes when the Nevermores needed a come-from-behind drive. The game turned when All-Pro, All-Everything wide receiver Anquan Boldin dropped a pass in the end zone late that would have given the Ravens a seven point lead late. Granted, the way Pittsburgh was playing, they still would have had to stop the Steelers about three more times which would have very tough. However, the Ravens never truly threatened again, and their booting from the playoffs was certain.

In the night cap, the Green Bay Packers beat the Atlanta Falcons soundly. The Dirty Birds couldn’t run (Michael Turner had just 10 carries for 39 yards) and couldn’t pass either. Matt Ryan, a.k.a The Man With Two First Names, was sacked five times and hit numerous times as he threw.   His receivers were blanketed all night by Tramon Williams and Charles Woodson, and linebackers Clay Matthews and A.J. Hawk (yes, that A.J Hawk) stormed the walls like it was the shores of Tripoli. The Bohunk, in all his knowledge, has pinpointed, for your benefit, the exact moment the game turned. After a Packers score, the Atlanta Falcons kick returner Eric Weems returned a kick 102 yards for a touchdown, the longest play in the history of the playoffs. Celebrate, you Falcons fans! Cheer, rejoice, for the football gods are for ye! But soft! What distraction on the sidelines! The Cheer-Babes of the Falcons are, yes, most certainly, gyrating and hooping-and-hollering, but not in unison! The blonde is doing a hip thing, and the brunette on the end isn’t even facing forward! What heresy is this, that the Cheer-Babes, professionals, cannot stay in unison! Upon viewing this spectacle with vigorous intensity, the Bohunk said to the room at large, “Game Over.” No one can respond after poor Cheer-Babing, least of all the Falcons without a run game. Soon, it was 35-14 and the Packers were in cruise mode. The Bohunk Super Bowl prediction, Packers vs. Flying Elvii, is still alive. And let this be a lesson to Cheer-Babes everywhere: When you tell the players to “Go” make sure you do so together and with smiles; the football gods will punish ye. 

Spirits were high before the Unthinkable; here, the Cheer-Babes are in unison. It was not
to last, however.

The Tour Down Under, the first major cycling race of the season, begins tomorrow, and the cycling community (and This Guy) are relieved to have the Best Sport In The World back to discuss and over analyze. While the turn out among pros has been the best in the history of the event, inevitably, all eyes with be on Lance Armstrong, who attends the race in what will be his last international race of his career. He will probably end up in a few US races, but as far as big European races, this little jaunt in Australia will have to do as a fare-thee-well. He is joined by the very, very Australian Robbie McEwan and one of the best sprinting fields assembled, including Andre Greipel, Gerald Ciolek, Mark Cavendish and Tylar Farrar. As McEwan says, the presence of so many sprinters could result in a “Mexican stand-off” situation, meaning a breakaway could get a big lead and hold it while the teams refuse to chase in the peloton. The Bohunk’s prediction: Greipel takes the first meeting against Cavendish in a massive, testy field sprint. Cavendish typically starts the season slow, though I can also see him being motivated and ready to tear the legs off anyone looking to challenge him. Lance will go on a forlorn but heroic attack at some point, but to no avail. All the best to him, though, and thanks for almost two decades of great racing.

Lance Armstrong modeling the new 2011 RadioShack kit. Best of luck, Juan Pelota.

The Bohunk hopes you haven’t noticed this, but there has been a bit of a freak out after astronomers noticed that the constellations have shifted due to the wobble of the earth’s rotation. The 26,000 year cycle means that, every so often, the constellations shift as the earth moves along its axis. This equates to a shift of roughly 50 seconds every year, so the distance the axis ‘moves’ is tiny. However, those looking to the heavens knew and even predicted this movement as far back as 7,000 years ago in Ancient Greece. People who believe in astrology, which, it should be noted, attributes certain behaviors and influences completely superficially to contrived shapes in the sky, have been panicked to see how the change will ‘affect’ their personality. It won’t; in fact, if you work by degrees, and the geologic shift of time, you were probably born under a different sign than that which you attribute to yourself, anyway. In fact, most signs shift every 2,160 years, but we haven’t adjusted until now. So if you believe in this mularky…

"Astrologers look beyond the five senses into the sixth and seven sense that transcend material boundaries.” ~The Epoch Times

…I am sure you can allow for some basic misinformation anyway….

It is, folks, a revolution in Tunisia. The army drove through the capital of Tunis this weekend, ousting all remnants of militia and security forces loyal to overthrown President Zine el Abidine ben Ali. Arrests around the country have rounded up much of the former regime, including former Interior Minister Rafik Belhaj Kassim in his hometown of Beja. Kassim headed both the main security force of the country and the state TV broadcast station, both, citizens claim, serving as instruments of oppression and stifling political and social freedoms. A new Cabinet comprised of various political parties is being assembled to take provisional control of the country until elections and other preparations can be made to establish a long term political structure. The working officials say they hope to hold free elections in 60 days and that they may rely on international help to ensure that peace is established before those elections can take place. Makeshift militias have created roadblocks around major cities to stop the exodus of former government officials and to maintain order, calling in army or new government security forces to keep the peace. The international community should cheer the urge for freedom and try to discourage any more loss of life in this nation’s future developments.

The Seahawks went to a frozen Soldier Field and looked exactly like the Seahawks we had all expected to see. After playing the Martyrs and winning against some long odds, they sauntered into Chicago against a much better team contented with simply winning one game and going home. They slowly lost ground as the offense did nothing; their first scoring drive was only 18 yards for a field goal. It happened while down 28-0 with a minute left in the third quarter. You are down by four touchdowns, it’s the playoffs; what does three points do for you? Nothing. Pete Carroll took the field goal because 28-0 sounds worse than 28-3, though it is the same thing in the end, a loss. Carroll was scared and playing not to lose. In the first quarter, fourth and one in Chicago territory (the 41, to be exact) Pete had the chance to take the momentum by the balls. Get a first, quiet the stirred, freezing crowd and get on the board; fear took over, and the punt unit jogged on. The Bohunk said, “Game Over.” The Bears will take on the Packers in the Coolest NFC Championship Game In A Long Time next week. Picks and predictions to come…

The best return man in the history of the game; Packers, be warned…

The Flying Elvii fell 28-21 to the New York Jets. Frankly, the Bohunk is torn for the AFC Championship; a rapist (Big Ben) against a loud mouth (Rex Ryan), the worst example of fatherhood in America (Antonio Cromartie) and the organization with the most NFL investigations since the 2008 Bengals. I’m going to have to go with the Thieves for the simple fact that they have less players likely to be arraigned this week. Tom “Bieber” Brady tossed for 300 yards, 2 TDs and a pick and will be blamed for the loss. That is the price for being the face of a dynasty; all the blame and the obligation to share the glory. The Jets did just enough to win; and they will not do so again this year.

Thanks for reading folks, back tomorrow and with results from the Tour Down Under and the arrest reports from Rex Ryan robbing a FootLocker store…